The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am on a rollercoaster of emotions, after a rollercoaster relationship with my ex who is in NA and AA and been clean for 7 years almost. I have mentioned im pregnant and due in around 9 weeks to give birth. So hormones and the prospect of being alone when im quite vulnerable adds to my stress.
I have this yo yo relationship that has made me ill to contend with, his abusive behaviours and my own fears and insecurities and abusive ways.
Isolated from my family due to dysfunction and alcoholism!
So I have been pretty low!
My son has a profile on a social network. He is 20 and today when I signed into my own account on that network, I noticed his profile comment was ''can't wait for my little sister to be born, the princess'' The other night I was low and he was on the phone to friends telling them he was staying in to watch a film with his Mum. My other son is 15 and for a teenager is also very loving.
I don't want them worrying about me anymore when i am creating pain and chaos in my life through my choices.
I am so blessed with what i have already.
My sons are teaching me about the qualities I should be looking for in men!
This feels so healing and spiritual and special, I feel it is the HP at work!
I think i was meant to be pregnant again, so that I had to be alone to figure some things out. Normally id be trying to manipulate my ex back, or looking for ways to find someone new. You can't do neither when pregnant and your babys dad makes you ill.
Isn't it wonderful when begin to see the situations that befall us have some sense of resolve and understanding? When we allow ourselves to relish in the little things - our grateful list begins to grow and grow.
Take care of you, for yourself and your new baby! HP has you enveloped in his arms, and so does Al-Anon! Keep positive - do things you enjoy...give yourself the credit for recognizing your ESH has brought you to a place of understanding! Relish in the moments - for they are touches of Gold! Also, keep up the great work!
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...He compared his weathered hand to mine and said, ... GROWTH OF THE MIND AND HEART are the best offers you can give.my Grandfather (Keeper of Stories), to me
Aloha Ajay...It's good to see that you see positives in this whole thing. That is what gives me the balance and serenity I always need to have. (((((hugs)))))
