The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH is half way through his treatment. I am more confused now more than ever. I have been talking to him almost nightly since he went in. Some things are really troubling me... I'm thoroughly enjoying him being gone. I like that I can do what I want and don't have to even think about what he is doing. I like being responsible for myself only. I like eating and sleeping. I like sleeping like a normal person does. I have realized how exhausted I have been and how nice it is to really deeply sleep. I like coming and going as I wish and know that everything will be as I left it when I get back. I have just realized this morning that I am quite frankly dreading when he comes home and my "vacation" is over. I am thoroughly sick of "walking on eggshells" all the time. I do love my husband but I have gotten where I do NOT like our life together. I have done a lot of praying and searching over this and am still deeply troubled.
I am glad you had a break while hubby was in treatment. You needed to recoup , get rest and take care of you. Now that you have experienced that great feeling please know that you can keep this up even when he returns home.
Alanon tools enabled me to Focus on Myself, Live One Day at a Time, Live and Let Live and Say What I Mean and Mean What I Say, when my hubby returned from treatment.
I needed to attend meetings regularly, get a sponser and work the steps It was certainly worth it
Please keep coming back, try atttending the online meetings here and know that serenity, courage and wisdom are a gifts of this program.
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 29th of March 2010 12:46:00 PM
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 29th of March 2010 12:46:31 PM
Just a thought -- I know a lot of couples where one partner disrupts sleep (could be snoring or restlessness, not just Aism) who have gone the separate bedroom route, and it seems to work wonders. Not sure if that is even a possibility in your situation, but it's one idea. I know how difficult it is to do anything more than plod through the day if you're sleep-deprived.
No question that life is more peaceful and serene without an A around, though. Perhaps time to start thinking about some boundaries that would assist you in maintaining that when the AH comes home?
__________________
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
Please do attend Al Anon meetings. They have truly helped me. They've helped me to realize that I have rights and choices. I don't have to live by someone else's rules or schedule unless I choose to do so. We who have been affected by addiction tend to forget this. Without Al Anon's tools and the ESH and wisdom of fellow members, it would matter if I was with my AH, on my own or with someone else. I would not have the serenity and happiness that I do now.
Al Anon has given me the tools to live happily no matter what happens or what the circumstances of my life are. It has given me serenity and respect for myself and others.
