The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank God for this website. My AH and I have been separated for 15 months. He has lived 4 hours away from me and our daughter since separating. He was/is a chronic alcoholic. He has seen our daughter for holidays, long weekends once a month, and five weeks last summer. He has only come to our town once since moving and I just found out why. He has filed for divorce and is seeking alimony, custody our our child, and child support. UNBELIEVABLE. Thanks to posting on this website I have a chronological diary of the chaos his drinking caused in our lives. He will be lucky to get supervised visits with her now.
All I wanted was for us to come to an amicable agreement so our daughter would be as minimally impacted by our split as possible. He is proving to me that sober doesn't necessarily mean well.
It is always amazing to me how powerful the A's get whether drinking or not. My AHsober left 5 years ago and said he wanted a divorce. Luckily, our sons are grown but there is still an impact (and he doesn't get it). I have said that dealing with him sober has been more difficult than any drunk I lived through with him. He doesn't work a program and it shows. I hope it works out for the best for you and your child.
Yeowza. Not fun. One day at a time, breathe in breathe out. Just because he makes unreasonable requests doesn't mean they are going to be granted.
The process is sticky, spent my fair share of days in the family court. My downfall was loosing myself in the process and letting the anger consume me. Ended up winning after years of struggle, but I lost relationships along the way I will never get back because I just became consumed by the battle. I wish I had known when to put the gloves on and when to take them off and keep living.
We are here for you.
Tricia
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
And this comes as a surprise? Never think you can anticipate what an A can/ will do!
Never underestimate them- they have far more experience than you in hiding, cunning, out-witting, and lying. Get the best lawyer you can afford- this is not an open/shut case. And having a record of transgressions doesn't mean as much as you think- in some jurisdictions, all he has to do is say he's going to AA and feels much better and your record becomes of little value.
He is acting insane, he is angry and behaving like a willful child, isnt that an A?? You know its impossible for him to get all of that? Sounds like he is going for broke? Isnt an A irritating????
Keep strong and believe in your HP and it will all work to your benefit. All my best, Bettina
