A long night ahead - Al-Anon Family Group

Acatnip · Veteran Member

A long night ahead

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh boy.

At least so often they prove the wisdom of our decisions, don't they? Sometimes it's easier to move on from someone who does the same thing over and over (and worse and worse) than from someone who swings back and forth from drunk to healthy.

I hope you can take good care of yourself. Hang in there.

Rocky38 · Senior Member

Hi acatnip,

You're doing great. When faced with similar situations in the past, I could sometimes get so mad, I would yell and curse. I was not proud of myself. It took some time before I could detach with LOVE. Literally get the pillow and blanket for him to sleep on the floor in the bathroom. I too would not harm myself by trying to lift his heavy frame, but I could get him a pillow and blanket and return to my business without being ashamed of my own behavior.

Hugs Rocky

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Catnip)))

You are not alone Praying for your peace.

tlcate · Senior Member

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I too hope that it is the least amount of drama possible. Monday is right around the corner! Try to get some sleep and know that we are sending good thoughts your direction.

Tricia

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

hi, it may help you to think about that he has a horrible disease, and what he does are symptoms of that disease.

Maybe turn the anger into compassion. I used to think about how I would feel if he had a brain tumor that caused this condition, that way I learned it is not personal against me. That he cannot stop it.

detaching from the disease and loving the person who is kept prisoner inside a diseased body is also what helped me.

I am happy for you that the decision is made and you are getting your own place.

love,debilyn

Acatnip · Veteran Member

Yes, it was a long night. It took several hours for him to settle down a bit, then work up at 2:30, turn the TV on blaring and started cooking because he drank instead eating dinner and was hungry.

Now he is late for work, but at least he is going.

I understand the disease process and yes, if it was a brain tumor, I would feel much differently. I equate it more to a disease like diabetes, you don't have to eat a bag of cookies and drink soda. You have a choice. You can eat healthy and control the disease. Same as alcholism, the disease is always there, you don't have to drink.

I am just so weary, along with all the stress, it has been weeks since I have had a solid nights sleep. I am exhausted.

kitty · ~*Service Worker*~

A techinique I have used very successfully is in a meditative or praying state ~ willingly surrender ur feelings (that are unwanted) to HP/god. I say, ' "God, I willingly surrender this anger to you, take it from me now and make me willing to forgive." ' I may have to do it more than once but Ive found when Im truly sincere and wanting to hand it over - it works incredibly well every time.

Forgiveness, I mention too bc it isnt for them we forgive, it is for us, so we can be free of that resentment and to not be tied to that person in anger - it only hurts me and I do it for my liberation.

Acatnip · Veteran Member

Thanks Kitty, I am sure my anger shows. I am working on it and will try to incorporate your methods and anything helps at this time.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.