The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I think I was on here a couple of years ago but can't remember. I haven't been good about going to meetings and I thought I was doing o.k. - but in real denial. This has been one (very bad) year. We decided to move last year - my choice. So many things to list but summing it up my A cheated on me, got a DWI, and now almost a year later he has just gotten fired from his job. Last year I filed bankruptcy and when I got off the plane in our new city to meet my husband - the first thing I had to do was go to the pawn shop to sell the tv to pay for rent -- so much for starting over. Now I am trying to decide whether to move back to my home town or what to do. Part of me really just wants to pack up and leave and my A said he wouldn't blame me. So much more to share.. just needing to vent.
~language edited
-- Edited by tlcate on Thursday 25th of March 2010 12:05:11 AM
It certainly sounds as if you have had a difficult year. Living with the disease of alcoholism is never easy.
I understand your desire to take actions right away however alanon suggests that you make no major life changes for the first 6 months in program UNLESS you are in physical danger. The reason for this is we need time to learn to use alanon tools in order to gain clarity and know the most constructive action to take.
Face to Face metings are most beneficial There you will find inforamtion booklets and literature and a support group that will share your journey
Online meetings are held in the Al-Anon chat room associated with this site.From the board click on Al-Anon Group Meeting/Chat Room in the yellow box in upper left of the page. After clicking on the link please be patient, sometimes it takes a while for the window to open.
Please keep coming here and posting . You are not alone.
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 24th of March 2010 05:21:08 PM
BEM, You are here now and that is what is important.
I would encourage you to find meetings in your area and if there are not any meetings you can find online meetings at this site.
When I am in crisis mode and am wanting to make drastic changes I have to remember to look at my motives. Why do I want to make that change? What am I hoping to accomplish?
Moving may be a right choice for you, but it may not. Remember where ever you go there you are. You have been having a tough year and even if your "A" doesn't come with you if you move you may be surprised at how many of the problems you thought you were leaving will follow you.
Keep coming back here. You are not alone and there is always space to vent.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
__________________
"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Bem, sounds like the Ah in your life is a busy boy and doing what an addict does. Your life sounds like a carbon copy of mine. So, he seems to be right on target for an addict.
Bem, you know what you have to do or else you wouldnt have turned back to Al-anon. This is the program that will bring you relief. Will bring you strength and courage and hope and the tools to help deal with this disease. We cant pay attention to what the addict is doing. We have to think of ourselves and make clear decisions for own lives. No matter what the addict chooses for his life. We have choices and boundaries.
Keep coming back ! If you cant make it to a f2f, come here and we will support you, for we have all been thru it. Nobody else can help you like we can. Bettina