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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Duped yet again
Post Info TOPIC: Duped yet again
cassidy2010


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Posts: 17
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Duped yet again
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Hi everyone,

  I haven't been here in a while.I actually thought things were improving with my AH.
Suprise!I was so happy thinking life is just beginning again and then boom.I come across something strange on my PC.Hmmm what's this ? Some things never change.He's been so sweet and willing to do whatever I ask of him.Great right ? Well ,not really I mean who wants a puppet for a spouse.I knew he hadn't completely given up drinking just not as heavily it seemed.Like 4 cans of beer a day instead of 12.However it just switched from one addiction back to another.He doesn't know I'm aware of his internet porn and porn dating sites.He even had the nerve to post description of my body on one site for couples...gross ! I'm so mad.Funny I talked with my pastor it will be a year Easter.He said give him a chance.I'm thinking ha!  a chance this would be like the 10th "chance".He did say to leave if he wasn't sincere an didn't stop.I think a year is plenty of time I think most would agree.well I plan on talking to a lawyer soon .I can't help but feel guilty I worry how this will affect my kids.Where will we live? I have no job.I even worry how it will hurt his mother and father and minw as well.Not to mention he may try and hurt himself.He has in the past when I got brave enough to leave.I can't stand the guilt .Why do I feeel this way.It's not like I haven't tried to help him for the past 13 years but when do I start living ?Sorry to dump a load on you guys I just need to vent I guess.

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cassidy
MissyPoo


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 49
Date:
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I don't have ESH to offer you.. but I do have (((hugs)))!

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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
Date:
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(((Cassidy)))

I am so sorry you are dealing with this painful disease.  Please know that alcoholism is a disease. You Did not cause, Cannot Control and Cannot Cure.

I did not hear that you were attending alanon meetings or had obtained a sponser  THese are all very helpful in learning to take care of ourselves while dealing with alcoholism.
  
 Help with finding local meetings near where you live may be found at the following web site:            http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon

Online meetings are held in the Al-Anon chat room associated with this site.

There is a free book offer by "Canadian Guy" at the top of this Board.  It gives very helpful insights in dealing with this disease.  Just click on the link below

 Offer of Free Book

 In alanon we learn to focus our energy on ourselves and recovering from the effects of living with this disease.

 It is recommended that we make no major life changes for the first 6 months unless we are in danger. 

The reason for this is so that we can learn how to use new tools, find ourselves, our voice and our decision making ability.

You deserve to feel safe and happy  Please keep coming back



-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 22nd of March 2010 01:42:39 PM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
RLC


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1483
Date:
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Cassidy,

I am also sorry for what you are going through. I agree with Hotrod's ES&H. But if I could ask you one question? Why do or should you feel "guilt" for his disease? Please be gentle with yourself. Put all the emphasis on yourself, take care of yourself first. The disease is going to dictate what he is going to do as it has for the last 13 years. The most important thing is what are you going to do. You have choices, and they are choices only you can make in your own time. Whatever decisions you make, be sure to put "guilt" in your rear view mirror where it belongs.

HUGS,
RLC



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