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Hello I am new to Al-anon, and I'm having a problem with the detachment theory in one area, and that is drinking and driving. It does not make common sense to me to let someone get in a car if they are drunk. Is this supposed to make him suffer consequences and teach him a lesson? How about the fact that he could kill people? How are you supposed to detach? I would not forgive myself if I let something terrible happen.
Agreed, and no detachment literature would advise you otherwise.... Now, if he were to get an impaired charge, and you lied to the court for him - THAT would be classified as enabling.... :)
Common sense still rules.... there are NO excuses for drunk driving - "friends don't let friends drive drunk", and that even includes our A's (who are not always our friends, lol)
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Hi, I'm with you on this one. I have often thought maybe I should just call the police, but I don't know when my AH will drive drunk or not. He comes home drunk and I don't know what days he will do that. I have asked him to not drink and drive, and used to constantly remind him not to, I have stopped reminding him as I feel like a broken record and he knows. If I knew he was drunk and about to drive I would try to stop him, other than that I don't know what to do. I have other family members that drink and drive and they all know how I feel about it and that its wrong but its totall excuses. Sorry, no advice just letting you know you are not alone on this one.
Detachment is not detachment from common sense or being responsible when you are able. When you are able is key...when you are not detach. If I am not able to change the situation there at others who can or can help such as public service (police) or the place where she is or was at. Beyond that I am totally powerless and will detach myself from the insanity of trying to do something I know nothing about.
The support on this one was short and simple and now it's back to your choices.
Keep coming back Joanlee...Miracles are made here. (((((hugs)))))
