The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have not heard from my exAH/bf since the last Thursday texting wars. Well, actually he did text me on Saturday to see if I had his birth certificate. I don't and I have let him know that in the past. I have no clue what he needs it for, it cannot be good but I just don't give a rip.
I have actualy enjoyed some peace & quiet since we quit talking. I have been able to relax, make plans and just get on with life without wondering what he is doing. I usually sit around all weekend waiting on him to never show up or call. It has been nice to just do whatever without that weight on my shoulders. If he shows up while I am gone...well, just too bad. I don't care. And if he calls me to tell me he is coming over, I am hoping to be strong enough to say, "Don't bother."
Who needs a man who lashes out irrationally over child support? Who needs to sit around waiting for someone to snap out of depression and come spend time with the family? Who needs to stress of dealing with this A and all his problems? Hmmmm, well I sure don't and I think I am ready to get back to living again. If I could do it once after drugs ruined our 15 year marriage, I think and pray that I can do it again after 18 months of trying to make things work again but failing.
I am not ready to move on.....find another man so to speak. I am just ready to move onto happier days again. I am tired of living in the past and dreaming of the future. I want to live for today and just get on with it.
Staying in the moment is a great way to live. The past is gone and can't be changed and the future is not ours to know. The present is a gift to be savored.
Get to your meetings and work on you. Your recovery will lead you in directions that you never thought you'd go. Life is good.
