The material presented
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Hello Everyone, I just wanted to let you know that it has been a week since I spoke to my A son. As far as I know he is still in hosiptal and trying to find a sober house to go too. Yesturday was tough alot of tears, and questioning my decision to cut him loose. But I made it through and today is a new day, Does it get better? Do the tears and sadness stop? Did I do the right thing? I am TRUSTING HP...
I understand your fear and sadness. This disease causes irrational fear and dread in us all.
I always had a policy that if I had not heard from my son he was doing what he needed and wanted. Since I was powerless I had a choice to: pray, trust HP, use the slogans , Live ODAT, Not project into the future, call alanon friends
If I did not use alanon tools I could worry and stay in despair. I decided to use the constructive tools that alanon gave me.
Using the alanon tools did not keep me from tears, or fear but it leassened the impact. Another big advantage was that I had HP and others to walk with me on the journey.
I am not sure of your whole story but what I can tell you is sometimes you have to cut them loose to have any sanity.....for them to hit bottom and an start the recovery process.....try and remember he will only seek recovery if he is willing....you on the other hand can seek recovery for you...thru alanon and the wonderful tools it offers to regain your sanity.
Please remember you are not alone......there is much love, wisdom and understanding to be found for you my friend.
moon Totally understand... for me the crying and questioning continues even tho at thie moment my son is in jail rehab unit he wont be coming home this time. I know he will try every trick he has to play on our heart strings and i can't honestly say one of them won't work/ Husband and I just pray on it everyday. This is the only way we know to raise his bottom ( if that makes sense). Blessings to you and son
Aloha Moonchild and you got it!! Now continue to practice it ...."trusting HP" is the "it". Climb up into the palms of your HP and make it home. If you find that a little crowded its because HP has us all. Lots of space available even for your Alcoholic son. The tears and sadness do stop with acceptance of powerlessness and active faith that your HP can do a much better job at it than you. You're doing fine. More is coming. (((((hugs)))))
I am more than a year out from the point where I stopped talking to the ex A. I let go. For so long I thought I was his lifeline and he of course was mine.
Letting go is tremendously difficult. I've found it about as hard as learning to detach. I believe its a skill. No one is good at it at first, eventually over time we get to be seasoned veterans. I do know it takes a lot of practice and more practive after that.
I let go of the ex A and I have no regrets at all. He survived before me and I don't doubt he continued to survive after me. I've made a point of not knowing.
Whatever relationship you have with your son be it that he is sober or relapses you can take care of yourself and set limits and demand respect.
Thank You all again... I will keep on this path and continue to believe that HP has a wonderful plan for my A son. He is a beautiful, smart Being.. I am understanding that I am not in control HP is in control. Baby steps Right? Good night and Bless ALL of you. Michelle
I am TRUSTING HP...
