The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, things have been alot smoother lately and I credit all of it to the ESH and lessons I've learned here from all of you. The Abf-sober has been keeping up with his therapy and even started meetings. We had a long talk where he expressed his despair over me being closed off to him. I told him what I needed him to do in order for me to even want to open my heart to him. I told him I can't promise I will be able to. and I told him if he settled back into HIS old patterns I wouldn't feed into his antics (my first boundary that I've stuck to!!) He did pull the manipulation route a few nights ago and I fed into it at first, staying in the argument and then I stopped, left the room and slept in the second bedroom. the next morning he said,"I was waiting for you to come back to bed, why didn't you?" and I told him I meant what I said and I had no desire to bother with the ugliness he brings. and I left for work without arguing, explaining, pleading...it was SO freeing. and he took what I said and went to a meeting. Then that night he apologized and said he should have communicated with me instead of arguing. and he hit a late meeting as well. I'm proud of him for doing his program.
but really proud of ME for keeping my boundary. I never thought I could feel free from that anchor around my neck that is alcoholism yet slowly but surely it's working. I keep feeding my positive and telling myself my HP brought me to this and now he'll bring me through this!!
((hugs)) to all!!! (even changed my avatar--just don't feel so dark and moody anymore!)
__________________
"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."
Hey!! Pirates don't fly flags like that...It doesn't show that you're ready to do battle and rob someone of their energy and win at all cost!! I love the Avatar...cooool. You got the first step!! I also wouldn't argue, fight and try to win after I got it... Admitted I was powerless and that my life became unmanagable (when I tried to exert power).
Yay for Lizzakiss!! Keep coming back because it works when you work it, there is so much more to learn and so many more miracles to be had.
He's doing for himself what he needs to do to also have a life beyond his wildest dreams.
