The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I went to the bookstore to get a book for class. It's one of those stores that has the bargain bookshelves right up front.
Literally, as soon as I walk in the the door, the first thing I saw was a Do It Yourself Legal Separation Kit.
I stood there for a full minute at least, holding that kit in my hand, just looking at it.
And then I put it back on the shelf. I'm not ready yet.
It's funny that I'm unhappy in this marriage, sick of watching him drink himself into an early grave, ready to make a clean break.... but not yet. Not yet. I still have 2 months until I graduate, 3 months until I leave. It's so hard to live with him, knowing that it's over so soon, watching him drown his sadness, unable to drown mine. But yet I put that paperwork back on the shelf.
Not yet. Not yet.
-- Edited by intothewoods on Friday 5th of March 2010 11:14:03 PM
__________________
"It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish."
~ J. R. R. Tolkien
Aloha Into...Loving and taking care of yourself in the moment is the simplest and most efficient way of working the program. You are growing in the now. None of us can do better than living in the moment. Tomorrow comes when it comes and if it comes. Yesterdays gone, Tomorrow hasn't arrived yet and all we have is today. Happy you worked it good. (((((hugs)))))
I think it is you being in reality. That is a wonderful thing. You are letting go of expectations of yourself and the situation and just doing the next right thing.
When it is time you will know. No one can make that decision but you and we are here for you each step of the way.
tlc
__________________
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
I was worried that I wasn't being strong or being me or trying to stay in the moment. I was worried that, by putting those papers back on the shelf, I was putting off a decision or going back to the "it's all going to be ok" thinking.
But no, I was deciding. The future will happen but now is now and it will never come again so I have to just live my life. It's a hard thing, but day by day, things are getting better.
Anyway, thanks. :)
__________________
"It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish."
~ J. R. R. Tolkien
