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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> phone calls
Post Info TOPIC: phone calls
mslouise


Senior Member

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phone calls
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Good morning...I haven't posted in a very long time...my ex-A is a distant part of my life (or I'm trying him to be)....made it clear to please leave me alone, don't call, etc....he is back into drugs now, hanging with bad people.....which is sad, but that's his deal.  the thing is, is he does keep calling me, he texted me last night like we have been talking everyday.  He lives in the same subdivsion as my mom, so he knows when I sleep over there (I have a son and am not feeling that secure to stay at my house alone, although he has never been violent, he does get very angry and have an outburst temper and now that he is back into drugs, you just never know) and he knows when I am home alone.  I do not want to block his phone cause I want to know when he finally stops and goes away.  I have not responded to him, but his calling/texting is a mind game and is making very depressed.  It brings me right back to like when I was living with him, although I try my best to fight it.  I am supposed to go out with my girlfriends tomorrow night and am scrared to even to that, for if he finds out I went out dancing, that would fuel the fire he has.  Thank you for the vent.



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geraldatwork


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Posts: 20
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I think the best thing to do is to continue to not respond to him in any way. When he finally realizes he is not getting satisfaction of any kind he will stop. You need to stop focusing on him and spend the effort on yourself and your son.

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freeagain


Veteran Member

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Posts: 91
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Don't ignore your fear. It is real and there is a darn good reason you are feeling it. But that is not to say you should let your fear control your life either. Take the precautions you need to to keep yourself  and your son safe. But live your life.

The thing I hated most about the fear was how it robbed me of living my life. Today, I feel the fear, take the precautions I need to and then keep on truckin!!!

This too shall pass. (((((Ms.Louise)))))

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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Aloha Mslouise...Working with my sponsor and the serenity prayer I arrived at the
courage to cut all communication and all invitation to "keep peeking" and therefore
attached to my alcoholic.   That was  turning it over to God as I understood God and
to practice believing that all and she was as it was supposed to be and I needed to
be changed.  God did fine and both of us recover without any lines and hooks into
each other again.  It was always my life that needed the work and since I didn't know
how to do that for myself I didn't know how to do that for anyone else.  I'm over it.

Practice the principles.   (((((hugs))))) smile

-- Edited by Jerry F on Saturday 6th of March 2010 12:39:50 AM

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maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 4578
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I stopped talking to the ex A one day at a time, and it added up.  I have not spoken to him for more than a year now.  I gave up the notion of cutting it all off and took it to a one day at a time which was manageable.  No one can tell you when you will get there if you do. 

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maresie
abbyal


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3854
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alcoholics are like boomerangs they just keep commin back == they never truly let go , just when u think your getting you act to gether they show up again .. I hope u enjoy your self tonite with the girl friends and take care of you. 

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I came- I came to-I came to be
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
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(((mslouise))) - thank you for your share.  It reminds me how much power I give away without a whole lot of effort/thought.  I live with my Ason and my AH, and there are some days when I am sucked in - even with a locked door and armed with a toolbox, literature, sponsors and tons of support.

I am forced to stay in the moment, of each day and do the best I can to take care of me and keep my side of the street clean.  I do see that when I take care of me and stay out of their way, my days are better and much more calm.

I like the post above me - one day at a time - it sure makes obstacles in my program much easier to face!  May you take care of you and trust your HP to lead you where you deserve to be!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
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