The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Is a feeling that things in my life are temporary a part of the disease that will go away if I work the program? I notice that sometimes I really feel like some things are temporary (for example, sometimes I feel like where I live is just a temporary situation, not really a home), and I'm not sure if it's part of the disease or unrelated.
I cannot answer if the feeling that all is temporary is part of the disease but I have had it too, I live in NYC and have the same apartment for the last 45 years but I still feel it is" temporary" and that I will move.
This feeling does not stop me from decorating or anythign like that it is just a feeling of impermanence in my living arrangement. I did not feel that way with my marriage or my job so it is interesting you brought that up. I do know I could move from here without any regrets.
Yes, very interesting thoughts. I have lived that way my entire life, I believe it is from moving around so much as a child/young adult. That and seeing how quickly life can change without us being prepared for it...in a matter of seconds it changes course and is completely, 100% unpredictable. I am not in control.
I found that working the program the feeling has increased, not decreased. It isn't a feeling of panic of the unknown. It is acceptance that I only have today and have no idea what tomorrow brings. I am living in a house I have been in for 7 years. That is the longest I have lived anywhere my entire life. I am starting to get the itch to move brought on by my daughter coming of age, graduating etc. Also, many of us have experienced what I personally call 'waiting for the other shoe to drop". We have become accustomed to the roller coaster life that A's can sometimes bring us. In my experience emotional stability is not a common thread in relationships with alcoholics. I still experience it today, being back in a relationship with my A. Every so often the thought will flicker through my head of "I wonder when things are going to fall apart" - but then I return to Step One and realize that I am powerless over this - I am not in control - and what happens happens. All I can do is take care of myself and keep my side of the street clean. And the shoe falling feeling leaves and quickly as it entered.
Thanks so much for your share. If you are feeling uncomfortable around it, please feel free to come back and share more or share with your sponsor or home group. We will gladly walk through it with you.
Tricia
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
tlcate, I think you said what I'm feeling. It isn't a feeling of panic of the unknown, it's just acceptance that I only have today. That's exactly it. Maybe this feeling is showing me that I've grown and isn't a problem that I need to deal with.
I was looking at my husband getting ready for work this morning and feeling like I really have no idea how much time I have with him while he's sober. I wasn't panicked or thinking about how I could try to secure more time or anything. It was just a calm and rational and peaceful thought that there are no guarantees about anything. And it was more of a passing feeling, not a feeling that I obsessed over that wouldn't go away.
