The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Funny How.... The Seasons tend to change some people, Me being one of them... I know with each day, moment & year there is change, but I mean for me, it seems different in my mind... It is like a Test... Currantly I believe at times I'm failing, but thats ok... I'm slowly starting to see & at least be aware... Can't say as I have jumped in with both feet & did anything about it, but I'm working on that slowly...
On my plate lately has been a hand full of everyday stuff, work, family, health, run run run... Just like the rest of Country, but I accepting the changes, and doing the best I can to charge forward instead of back. I have handed HP quite alot, and at times catch myself grabbing hold, and can now see "just for today" its time to release again...
Some changes I see in me I accept and others it seems strange or out of text... Its like the pieces don't fit, (the square peg in the round hole) Makes ya wonder how they ever fit at all, once I openned my eyes to the truths in front of Me ... My awareness has been a wonderful thing to tho, I can now see what needs to get done, appossed to what "Always Waits"..... ME... Funny how when you stop polishing behinds, you find a TON More time to relax, and enjoy your own life... Even if your really not sure were its headed, but just grateful to have the chance to see it thru..
Now I can't say I have been the most upstanding.... And to all you tella marketers out there... "I"M SORRY"... My work has been slow, and when I RUN to the phone prayin for work... And when I get there, its a "RECORDING" of and answering system telling me "IM ON HOLD" When ya get me... You'll Know... These are the things I NOW find myself stressing over ;) However... It is better then dippin in someone elses problems...
My boy is doing well, growing up like only a 12 year old can... He amazes me everyday, with his kindness & his heart... Yep at times, I get the "Eye Roll or the Huffff" but honestly... I"m enjoying them...lol... Means he is being a boy heading into his teens... "Truly hope HP Holding my hand then ... I always need to take the time to be grateful, and this is one of those times... I have been blessed with many things, but I have to say HANDS DOWN, being a parent is "4 me" the biggest blessing & honor in the world...
At times i catch myself Reaching for profection... And have to remember to STOP... THINK... If I could some how tatoo "Progress Not Profection" somewere on my brain that would help me alot ;) It is almost like a juggling act to me at times...
I work my program to the best of my ability, and how "I" feel I need too, so that helps, I keep up with my friends, and hang out when we can, but I can't JUST Live that either, I have to take hold of the many responsibility's i carry, and just remember that I am human, and am doing the best I can for now...I live a life not of dread or fear, but of Hopes & Dreams, Goals & Wishes... but at times, I catch myself "back sliding" back to old habits, and then I 'm trying to balance out again, get back what it was I "grabbed back" weather it is food, or friends, or work... What ever it may be... I at times have to set boundry's that I'm not always "fond" of, but have to get use too, because I need this change, this Shift Forward... I have learned that some don't like to see me in "change" mode, and I have learned to "Somewhat" accept that, I can't say I always agree with me or my ways, but I do now ask My HP for the help & try n remember to take the time to listen...
So as you can see, my balancing act is still moving in a roller coaster kinda manner, but I have the curtains Opened Wide, Patiently waiting for the occassional "Blast" of SuShine and remember...Today is a gift from God... My Spring Cleaning has begun and tho I have been sneezin like a fool for about 2 hours, I must return to finding the floors, desks, boxes, and what not & walls of my office, before it takes over... i have made Great Progress... ;O) So I am Pleased...
Even Happieer i took the time to come here, and check in with you all, and tell you that I'm grateful for each & all that has helped me, and Continue to help me along the way ;) Added Blessings to an already Blessed Soul Thanks MIP...& HP...
Jozie wrote:I can't JUST Live that either, I have to take hold of the many responsibility's i carry, and just remember that I am human, and am doing the best I can for now...I live a life not of dread or fear, but of Hopes & Dreams, Goals & Wishes...
Jozie
Dear Jozie
Great to see you and to read your share. What great recovery!!!
To be able to live a life of Hopes and Dreams and not Dread and Fear is an awesome gift of this program . I found that alanon tools enabled me to do likewise.
Thanks MIP...& HP...