The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
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level.
ok - it's another day that i have to be awake and a productive and sane member of society. i really wish i didn't have to be - i'm tired of pretending to be sane :)
i'm going to try to be kind to myself today. perhaps the most important thing i can do is to leave the office at 6:30 instead of 8 or 9 like i usually do. this job is killing me. i seriously think that it will be the death of me in 15 years if i stay in this industry. but i'm so terrified of this economy and trying to get a new job... and heaven forbid i tell anyone that i cannot handle my job right now. they say, "at least you HAVE a job. you should be thankful." NOT HELPFUL.
I hear ya about the comments you get about having a job. I agree that it is not at all helpful when you are complaining about a job that is driving you mad or stressing you out for someone to tellyou that you are lucky just to have a job. I hear that one too.....and my job for the most part is easy. Some days are good days, some days are bad days.
I too wish I could just stay in bed & stick my head under the covers sometimes. Oh to have that luxury.....like my A does. He just shuts down and disconnects whenever he wants regardless of what is going on or who needs him for something (me, the kids or his family).
It is just crazy but we have to be responsible and keep plugging away. Hang in there. Sincerely, QOD
thanks QOD and Speck31. i need the prayers. my crazy europe and asia clients are in full effect, being crazy, this morning - making strangely-worded demands for assets and work "ASAP". the trouble is, there's a big time difference so ASAP never works. but they expect me to be answering their emails at all hours - so, 4am my time. since i've had this job i've been so very sick so many times.
to make matters worse, i had an irrational fight with the man i'm seeing last night (another one who's use of alcohol affects me). we work together. so today i'm going to have to explain myself, i suppose.
i notice that while my ex-AH (i've got 2) always needed to create drama and chaos this job creates it on a daily, minutely, basis for me. i'm still attracted to it.
-- Edited by xter on Tuesday 2nd of March 2010 11:13:15 AM
I'm right there with you. I work retail, and don't let anyone tell you it's any easy job. Yes I am grateful I have a job, but I'm burnt out. You are absolutely entitled to feel the way you do. I am sending out extra love and blessings to you, plus all the serenity I can. Take a deep breath. Take a good old Piper Kitty day and take care of you. If you don't, who will? Remember you deserve it.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
((((XTER))))...I relate. One thing that helped me was the "Just for Today Pamplet" from the literature table. White and Blue little fold out or card. Get one and memorize it. And then work it a minute, a day a step at a time. Good luck and let go and let God and Turn it over and Serenity Prayer and DON'T REACT and hmmmm there's gotta me about a million others laying around here.
I wouldn't say I am atrracted to chaos and drama. I am very familiar with it. My role in the family was the scapegoat so while taking the blame I was also supposed to fix it. My fix it days are over.
I know work can and is very challenging fo rme. The more recovery I get the more i see insanity. I do not have to be the insanity anymore. I can identify, work through and set limits. Limit setting is very hard at first, eventually it becomes a necessity
