The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've posted here a few times and my posts have run from "why am I dealing with this" to "I have found the serenity". I come here almost every day and read all the ESH from everyone and I feel so blessed to have somewhere to turn to now, nothing feels helpless to me anymore. being here has also opened my eyes to the fact that I have been quite the codependent for a very long while in life and now knowing this I have been able to make changes to make me happy. changes I would have never known I needed if not for the loving care and advice given here.
I've decided to "feed the positive" in life, if I do that it can only grow, right? And I've realized that my negativity only fed all the chaos I am dealing with. So instead of saying "why??" I say "thank you". "WHY HP did u let me get mixed up with an A?" has now become "THANK U HP for leading me to AlAnon" and "WHY do I have to deal with all this?" is now "THANK U for showing me what I will not deal with in a relationship in the future." "WHY do people take advantage of me?" turned to "THANK U for making me see I was creating my own mess by projecting."
ODAT and baby steps...ever since I made the committment to myself to live life that way and heal, I have felt such peace and serenity. Yes I am still with the ABfsober (who still won't make meetings) but the chaos is not something I share anymore. And each day I am one step closer to making life all about ME. and it's leaps and bounds from where I was a few months ago, that's a great feeling.
(((HUGS))) to all of you. You are all the BEST!
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"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."
ODAT and baby steps...ever since I made the committment to myself to live life that way and heal, I have felt such peace and serenity. Yes I am still with the ABfsober (who still won't make meetings) but the chaos is not something I share anymore. And each day I am one step closer to making life all about ME. and it's leaps and bounds from where I was a few months ago, that's a great feeling.
(((HUGS))) to all of you. You are all the BEST!
Thanks for an inspirational message. I agree- alanon gave me simple tools that I still use on a daily bases that effectively changed my attitude and ultimately my life.
I went from why to why not. I really resented HP for so many years for letting me have such dysfunctional crazy parents as well as a series of dysfunctional relationships. My attitude today is why not me? Why not that I have to learn how to be functional rather than grow up in it. I no longer feel victimized by it.
wow! What a great thread here. I went through the same thing. One day I made a conscious decision to be positive and see how it went. Life became much easier, I admit - bc what u focus on grows. When u look to the solutions, instead of the problems, the solutions are there and u can conquer the problems/challenges so much easier, better, more peacefully. It feels better not to be all stressed out, involved, ready to fight -- but to be detached, above it, not intersted in it -- so the pulls/triggers/buttons seem to begin to diminish.
I am not sure how I worekd out having all the buttons/triggers that I once did -but- I did. I was tired of being stressed out and irritable constantly. I knew it was me (the common denominator) that was upset. I gave myself permission and room to stop being bothered. (I keep trying to explain this to ny bf but he isnt getting it). So I share and then remind myself - to detach with love more/again.
I also began to focus on my gratitude and anything and everything I could be grateful for/about. In a few short weeks, I felt overwhelming joy from within. What do I have to be upset about? I have shelter, warmth, food -- life, pets, love, god. NOthing can truly hurt me - I am going to be "OK". Today I too am not focused on the instanity and chaos -- health, peace are my main concerns and being positive goes a long way to keeping them a priority and something that continues to - become a new reality. It keeps growing each new moment.
Thanks so much for this thread! Keep working it and take care of YOU whatver that looks like.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Thanks for the post - I've been pretty discouraged the last few days in my recovery. I keep wondering if this is it - I mean, is all the distrust and lying and wondering how things are going to go as good as it gets?
Sometimes I need the reminder that it's going to be as good as I make it. When I get sucked back down into letting someone else determine how I feel and start questioning whether all the good things in my life are real, I let the disease win.
