The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was reading Canadian Guy's post about loving yourself from the CODA board, and it made me think of a book I've been reading lately called "Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy" by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
It's not CAL, but I've really found for me that I picked up this book at exactly the right time in my life.
I've always thought I knew how to take good care of myself. In some ways, I think I have been doing well, but this book is really assisting me with a lot of nurturing and caring exercises that I really need for myself that I never really bothered with in the past. In fact, these exercises make me feel so good that I'm sure I've been downright neglecting myself in the self-love department. And for me, living with an active alcoholic in the midst of a sexual identity crisis, this book is REALLY making a difference for me... I need all the self-love and self-assurance I can give.
It's geared towards women - so men, just be aware of that should you think about picking it up.
Probably why this book is also helpful for me is because I'm one of those people out there who is always in a search of some sort of manual. Just give me a list of things to do, damnit - don't make me try to figure it all out by myself!
It's formatted as a daily reader and occasionally the author introduces self-caring exercises for you to do for the day.
I know Al-Anon literature often mentions a gratitude list - which I kind of worked at off and on over the last couple years, but for whatever reason only my HP knows, I really only started taking the gratitude list seriously when I started reading Simple Abundance and it clearly instructed me - DO A DAILY GRATITUDE LIST. (Instead of it just being put across as a suggestion.)
Since I've been doing my daily gratitude list, it's really put a lot of things into perspective for me. My relationship is a horrible, sad, stressful, depressing, heart-breaking mess. Yes. However, I have a lot of OTHER things in my life that are just unbelievably wonderful that I am just so grateful for. And I'm starting to be able to find joys in the simple things in my life - like the sound of the birds singing in the morning. A quiet afternoon at home alone. Fluffly clouds, a comfortable bed, incense, my friends, my job...
In no way is this book a replacement for my Al-Anon meetings and literature and my work with my sponsor and the 12 steps. But it is a great companion to the program. Lately, a lot of the exercises in the book have been "excavating" ones where I'm asked to remember good things from my childhood... and I find it interesting in the timing of this for me because I'm currently working on my 4th Step now with my sponsor, and her first task for me is to write my life's history. Pretty daunting when I think about it sometimes, but some of the exercises in the book have given me some great leads to work with.
Speaking of sponsors, it was she who gave me this book for Christmas back in 2008. For whatever reason, I wasn't ready for the book in 2009. I read a few pages once in a while, but eventually put the book away and decided I'd maybe start it from the beginning in 2010.
I thought I'd mention this to those of you who feel you may have trouble in the self-love department. I know I certainly do. My suggestion to you if you pick up this book is to start it from the beginning, although it is dated like our daily readers are... you should still start with January and move on from there, even if you pick up the book in July. She has a certain set method and order in the book that I think might create confusion if I started it in the middle of the year.
Again - for me, this book is not a replacement to my Al-Anon program. I still deeply need the fellowship, sharing, love and support from my fellow Al-Anon members, and especially the "reality-checks" my sponsor gives to me.
Kudos to those of you who read this entire post! Haha
thanks for the share.... it makes total sense to me that we sometimes need more than the 12 steps to see us through this maze of emotions and turmoil...we need to find our own coping mechanisms. there is a world of techniques, direction and support out there which can become as baffling and confusing as the illness itself. i am a firmng believer in reading, learning, writing and counting my blessings..... the more i learn about life and myself the better i get at looking after myself and dealing with the ills of the world around me. as for writing your life story....you may find it easier than you think! i started writting about my sessions with my councellor and before i knew it i was half way through my life story as much of what i have written is flashbacks to situations that cause me to act in a certain way. throught my writing i have uncovered long buried memories that are so important in my recovery process. it has also allowed me to let go of a lot of anger, hurt, and negative emotions that were stopping me progressing with my life. i am no longer a fixer! i will help anyone who asks me to,,,,,but i no longer jump in with both feet uninvited!!!! its a great feeling... to be free of others burdens and to be able to deal with my own in a constructive way. write your story....who knows? it may become a best seller!!!!!
