dear((((((((((((((((((dori)))))))))))))) I do not know what state You are in but I have been there, I wish I could help you, I dont know if you have any resources like the salvation army or red cross or any food pantries in the area or not, but maybe u could enjoy a meal at one of the local area churches, that serve the community for those in need. If you were near me in Massachusetts I would welcome you here with open arms, I do not have much myself, but we have a rule no one is turned away from a meal always room for 1 more, Good luck my friend, and god bless your children for working hard to make you proud and helping. Love you cloud

P.S. ((((((((((((((((((Dori)))))))))))))) Your alanon family I am sure would want you to have a great holiday and would be there for you please hunnie call them they love you and understand that is why the offer thier phone numbers.

Hi Dori,

I am so sorry to hear about your predicament, I too have been there, and possibly worse, I had not even one car.

I lived for four years with no car, no TV, no radio, no phone, very little food, and I had to live in my bedroom as I could not afford to heat the entire apartment.  I turned off the heat in all rooms but my bedroom, thank goodness I lived in an apartment in the middle of the buidling or my pipes would have frozen!  I have lived on Peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches for weeks, cheap, and nutritious.  I put on my coat, gloves, and hat to prepare any food or clean, and had a tiny space heater for the tiny bathroom when I bathed my baby.  I had to walk to the grocery store everyday, and my poor baby had to hold a light bag of groceries on her lap and I put the loaf of bread on top of the stroller canapy whcih touched her head on top of the stroller (second hand)! I worked as a nanny for a nearby family, where I could take my baby with me.  It was hard work, I had to cook, clean, and take care of two babies (including mine) and it was a BIG house.   I had to wash my clothes in the bathtub and hang them in the shower to drip dry.  I sewed a lot of my cltohes out of ugly but cheap remnant fabric I bought at a factory outlet store.  I made clothes for my baby girl out of the scraps from those.  I sat on the floor to eat (no furniture except a couch a neighbor threw out and a sleeping bag for a mattress) I could afford to buy a second hand high chair for my baby.  All of my furniture was used and second hand, I spent my time cleaning it up to be pretty, HOURS and HOURS with a toothbrush and sandpaper...

My family helped...a little, they bought me diapers (which I truly could not afford) and formula for my baby, and when my baby was older I made my own baby food.  I lived mostly on cereal, canned soup, and tuna, cheap, and nutritious so that I could buy meat, fruits, and veggies for my baby to be healthy.

I am just letting you know that you are NOT alone in your suffering...others have survived and you can also.

I had to live this way as I left an abusive and drug addicted crazy man and was in hiding from him in another state, I had no child support and little family support.  If I had gone on public assistance he would have found me, also if I had a drivers license in the new state. 

My heart goes out to you since your children are older, and I am sure it is much more difficult for them than it was for my baby.

This email is not about how much I understand...you need a lot more than understanding right now...it is about how I survived this and helped OTHER women to survive these types of situations...

The last job I had before the one I have now was as a child care consultant.  I helped woman set up HOME day cares.  There is an unbeleivable need for home day cares, most specialists agree it is far superiour to institutionalized care (day care centers).  Kind of like how society figured out that foster care is usually superiour to orphanages...

Please think seriously about a home day care.  You are your own boss, you don't need to "find a job" as you create one in a market where there is already a need, and you are home with your own children in case of an emergency's.  You don't have to worry about child care yourself for your own children.  Since you have a car, that is in yoru favor, make it work for you instead of against you as in making you ineligible for food stamps.

I don't know where you live, but in Ohio you can watch six children under the age of six years old (this includes your own children, so if they are over six, they don't count at all for your numbers), this is a significant amount of money for someone working at home with little or no start up costs.  You can make around $100.00 per week per child.  A BONUS in the state of Ohio is that you are reimbursed for most of the cost of your meals, and you and your children's meals while during your daycare hours are included.

I worked with many women who ran their daycare hours until 7:00 pm so that they could get a reimbursed dinner with their daycare kids and their own family.  The meals have to be nutritious so this is a double benefit for you, your kids get a nutritious meal AND it is practically free for you DAILY.

You already have kids so you are experienced enough to have this job.  Conctact your state department of human services to find out licensing requirements for your state.

Ohio is pretty stict about licensure, and the requirements are very practical and reasonable so unless you live in a pretty derilict shack, you should pass.  I am quite sure with two working cars that you don't have a dwelling that won't pass inspection.

Think about it, rather than being hungry another day or having to start selling some of your

belongings.

Lots of woman that I helped start a home day care were      very happy, they were finally able to live pretty well, although humbly.  They had enough nourishing food to eat and the money was enough to pay rent and clothes and a few extras.  The sa vings are substantial, they did not need to buy professional wardrobes for a job, did not have to pay extra insurance for the commute, and did not have to pay to eat lunches at work, or fast food or takeout dinners after being exhausted from work.  You are paid for food prep time for food for YOUR own family.

This is a great job for woman newly divorced, or abandonded.  I am very proud of the work I did    at this job and the women I helped.  Some states even pay for home day care workers to attend community college classes for FREE to get a teaching degree over time. 

I have done home day care and it was a great job.

Contact your local department of human services for information in your state about how to get started. 

Isabela