The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Before you read my nephew's letter to the judge.........One cousin died that week, once cousin lived. Two automobile accidents, two very different results. One shattered family......ours. Goodbye dear Debbie. I hope that justice is served for our beloved daughter, sister, niece and cousin. The gentlest soul I have ever known. I love you Debbie and miss you more than words can tell you. Aunt Dottie
s
Dear Judge 'xxxx',
How can I explain the impact the loss of my sister Debbie has had on my life to some one who did not know her? I would ask you to therefore bear with me for a moment to allow me to introduce her to you. Debbie was physically beautiful, fiercely intelligent and a caring thoughtful girl who loved God, fun, good food and a good laugh and the especially the company of family and friends. Debbie was a gift from God to everyone that knew her, a true blessing, always positive and full of smiles. Debbie had long flowing brown hair, big blue eyes that everyone new her by and a peaceful aura that surrounded her and could be felt by all. It was hard to not be happy around Debbie.
Debbie and I were close when we grew up, I protected her with all of my heart like a big brother is suppose to. But when I got married and moved to Missouri, we kinda loss touch and then especially when she went to the east coast to be a nanny for a year. When she came back and I got divorced, I spent 2 straight weeks with her and we never left each others sides again, talked weekly 2-3 times and loved each other more and more. We talked about moving back to Imperial to be together and take care of the parents and be closer. Talked of restoring dads old truck and cruising the back roads and talking about life while she wore his cowboy hat.
Now, how do I feel knowing I will never see her smile again? How do I feel knowing I will never see her arrive coming to see me for a visit, toss down her bag wrap her arms around me and hear her say, "Hi ya Big Brother, now don't squeeze me!!!" How do I feel when I know a text message or phone call will never again be from her? How do I feel knowing she will never run up and give me a hug and hearing the words "I am so proud of you" after I win the competition that I have worked so hard for. How do I feel knowing she will never see me hold her child in my arms like I did ONE time, and she will never see me hold him again, and lets not bring up the Holiday phone pranks.
My heart is broken and nothing in this life will ever mend it. I feel a physical pain when I see her photograph or when a memory comes to mind or when I see a young woman holding her new baby and look at her husband full of love. These last 7 months have been pure living hell. The worst is not being able to call her and hear her say "Big Brother, how are you" in that high pitched funny voice she always did cause it made me laugh. Its not fair that she didn't get to celebrate her first Thanksgiving, Christmas, the 1st Birthday of her child together and to have the chance to have another child. We have all been robbed of our happiness.
Can you imagine the pain of having to choose flowers, pick a song for a church service and write a letter to read and people to thank for coming to her funeral? Can you imagine the distress of having to choose the dress she will wear in her coffin instead of the one she will wear on her 5 year anniversary and wants my opinion?
I can't begin to tell you the sorrow of telling my wife that the only ever sister-in-law she had was gone, and she had just talked to Debbie about family pictures and the vacation together the day before. I can't begin to tell you the pain I felt telling my step-sons that their favorite aunt, the one that made them feel special, the one that called them weekly, the one that dressed up as the Easter Bunny in high heals, that she was killed, over the phone, and to hear them scream and cry!
All that talent, all the devotion, all that hard work, all wiped out in an instant. Debbie was killed by no fault of her own.
I rushed to Imperial to be with family and friends, holding back all my emotions trying to be the strong one. When I finally saw Debbie laying there motionless, my feeling rushed out, yet and strangely enough thats the only moment of real peace I have known since she died. I begged her to wake up, I touch her hair and tapped her on the shoulder, she didnt say anything. I wish she would said something, I wish I had sat with her longer each and every time when we talked. But how long would have been enough? I have wanted to go to my church recently but all I would think about is "why her God"?
On the 10th day of January 2009 we, as a family, had one of the happiest days of our lives. After years of trying and the loss of 2 pre born babies, her part as a mother finally came to life, she had a beautiful baby boy, 'xxxx'. Her life was complete. Debbie had a wonderful husband, Troy, a warm and inviting home in Elsie, a couple of dogs, her family just miles away, the nephews she always wanted, two great sister-in-laws that she couldn't get enough of, awesome mother and father-in-laws that took her in as thier own, and now a beautiful baby boy, her life was complete. Now, 6 months later, almost to the date, I pack my bags and pack the car heading home to an experience that no-one should ever go through, its the longest 7 hour drive I have ever experienced and the quietest.
I knew I was lucky to have a sister like Debbie, but then I knew that when she was alive. And while I am devastated that she was taken after only 28 years I would rather suffer this pain than never to have had the love we shared in those 28 years.
I don't know if these words have conveyed to you my sense of loss. Maybe there are no such words. Perhaps I should just have saved your time and said I loved Debbie from her first breath and I will love, mourn and miss her until my last.
Oh, did you realize that my cousin Stacy 'xxxx' and Debbies little boy where in the van too. Yes, they were, and they about loss their lives as well. Stacy isn't doing very well. Nightmares, scars, treatments, and replaying that event over and over in her mind would make any other person go nuts. But Stacy is strong, and she and Gage deserve justice just as much as Debbie. Poor Gage, he wont remember it, but when he gets older, he will realize that his mom was killed 2 feet from him, and he never got to say "I love you" or "Good Bye". He never gets that kiss from his mom on his 16th birthday. He never gets his mom's opinion on how he looks for his first date. He never gets to have his mom teach him about life, love, and dreams all from a angel. How is this fair I ask?
Now as for Ben 'xxxx'. I think I have handled this quit well with all the feelings and emotions that I have been through. I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about getting even, which I know in the eyes of the law isn't right. I am mad, mad as hell. I will not be in that court room because you would have to ask (make) me leave. I am a 285lb Pro Power-lifter and I would end up making you upset with me and I would be arrested for contempt of court and assault. This guy should be punished, you know this, and I hope you do the right thing. We all have the right to live. Debbie had the right to live. Ben took that away from Debbie and our family. We are devastated beyond words.
As you know, the only sentence that can be imposed is a fine of up to $1000, up to one year in jail or probation, which has to be the most lame thing I have ever heard of. This is diminishing the seriousness of the offense and a light sentence as this is nothing but letting Ben off with a slap on the wrist. A short term of probation would diminish the seriousness of the offense. The court is supposed to avoid sentences that diminish the seriousness of the offense. Remember, I like the rest of my family and friends have to live without Debbie for the rest of our lives, so 1 year in prison and 5 or 10 years of probation for Ben to think about what he did to my family (and his other wrecks that he has caused at the SAME intersection) should not be unreasonable. Anything less would "diminish the seriousness of the offense." Just to let you know "Ben ran a stop sign while driving a specialized vehicle that demands a special license and demands special attention while driving." and this is not the first time this has happened, it happened before, AT THE SAME INTERSECTION!!!
Associated Press - January 15, 2010 8:55 AM ET GRAND ISLAND, Neb. (AP) - A man whose pickup fatally struck an elderly woman who was picking mulberries in her Grand Island yard has been given eight to 15 years in prison. On Thursday, District Judge Teresa Luther of Hall County ordered Carmel Martinez II not to drive for at least 15 years after he gets out of prison. And Luther told Martinez he has to pay more than $10,600 in restitution to the family of 83-year-old Marceline Forst. Martinez had pleaded guilty in November to vehicular homicide after making a deal with prosecutors to lower the severity of the charge.
"Ben ran a stop sign in a specialized vehicle that demands a special liscense and demands speacial attention while driving."
JURY FINDS DISTRACTED DRIVER GUILTY OF MANSLAUGHTER FOR KILLING PEDESTRIAN IN CROSSWALK *Driver had been illegally sending text messages just prior to crash
An Orange County jury found a distracted driver guilty today of one felony count of vehicular manslaughter with gross negligence for killing a pedestrian in a crosswalk after failing to slow or stop before the collision. The driver had been illegally sending text messages just prior to the crash. Martin Burt Kuehl faces a maximum sentence of nine years in state prison at his sentencing on Friday, March 12, 2010, at 9:00 a.m. in Department C-29, Central Justice Center, Santa Ana.
"Ben was not texting, but ran a stop sign while driving a specialized vehicle that demands a special license and demands special attention while driving."
I am asking for the court to please hold Mr. Ben 'xxxx' accountable for his actions. He has never taken responsibility for what he has done. Mr 'xxxx' could have taken the responsibility from the beginning and not put me or the rest of my family though the torture of the trial and past months. This man has never been in handcuffs, jailed or punished for this crime or his past just a few years ago and once again....AT THE SAME INTERSECTION!!! Thank God that person didnt loose their life.
Please your honor, I am respectfully asking for the court to sentence the defendant to 1 year in jail and 5-10 years probation and to lose his license for up to 10 years. I think this is not enough, but I am trying to be reasonable. I pray that he gets the maximum sentence possible, anything less would be "diminishing the seriousness of the offense." 1 year is nothing compared to eternity.
Thank you for your time. David M. 'xxxx' (brother, protector and best-friend)
-- Edited by canadianguy on Monday 22nd of February 2010 06:30:40 PM
That was a beautiful tribute to a beautiful person. It sounded like she was beautiful on the inside as well as the outisde. I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes God works in mysterious ways.
((( Doxie ))) I am so sorry for the loss of your truly beautiful Niece. A loss that was so unaviodable that has left a family with such deep wounds. I was in a very simalar accident where someone ran a stop sign and hit my car, flipped it 2 times. Firefighters called it in as a fatality just looking at my car when they got there then found I was alive and had to be cut out of the car. The kid that hit me got a ticket, so I totally understand the injustice of it all. My prayers are with you and your family and I know you will keep your nieces memory alive for her son. My heart breaks for all of you and again am so sorry
So sorry for the loss of such a beautiful and lovely girl. Also for the near loss of your son. I pray that you keep your program and HP as close as possible.
No words can express what I am feeling. I will certainly keep you & your family in my prayers. I am so sorry for you loss. Much love and blessings to you & your family.
In sympathy, Karilynn
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