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Hi all, I would like to share some lyrics to a song that has really touched me and has kind of been my song for a while now.
You've got your reasons Reasons just to walk away No one would blame you if you didn't want to face the pain You find yourself Up against the wall You're scared to push cause it might fall And it...
CHORUS Just might change your life You're on the edge now take one step And you just might find you'll fly You never know what will happen next Don't be afraid to let go this time It just might change your life
You keep on reaching Reaching for a hand to hold You're scared you'll wake up on the edge of the unknown You find your heart in fragile place Afraid to move cause it might break And it...
CHORUS
Don't be afraid to let go
Just let go, just let go, just let go, just let go! And it...
Just might change your life You're on the edge now take one step And you just might find you'll fly You never know what will happen next And it just might change your life You're on the edge now take one step And you just might find you'll fly You never know what will happen next Don't be afraid to let go this time Don't be afraid to let go this time It just might change your life
This morning my alarm went off at 4am and I so did not want to get up. I wanted to stay home. I wanted to sleep more. And then I talked to myself using words I don't normally say, but again it worked and I got my butt out of bed. (lol I had to do this on Monday) I went to the gym and toally rocked my workout. I pushed myself further and am ready to step it up a notch tomorrow :).
It was a nice sunny beautiful morning as I was driving in and I opened my sun roof (with the heat on full blast of course) and really took the words of this song in and related it to where I am now.
Last year I started seeing a counselor and we hae been touching on my past and how my past made me build the life that I did. I have been afraid to change, afraid of looking into my past and afraid of moving forward.
I still have some fear, but I am not alone anymore. I have a sponsor, my f2f group and my family here. So I feel like what I have done this time is jumpred off a cliff and I know the ocean is below me (I love the ocean so this is a safe thing and makes sense to me ) and I know I am going to feel awesome once I land in the water and I am enjoying the fall because everything feels so exciting right now. Even though I have fear I am not letting that stopped me.
I truly believe that the steps I am taking are going to change my life and now that I have finally taken that first step I am no longer afraid of waking up on the edge of the unknown. I am tired of living in the frragile place and being afraid to do anythng becuase of the hurt that it would cause.
Typing this it hit me! I know what happened! I freaking hit my bottom last summer and wow the changes I have made since then have been amazing and I am not even doen yet.
Thanks for being her ya'll. Much love to you all.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
__________________
"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Reading your posting, in all sincerity makes me feel super-inspired and motivated, Mandy and for that I thank you* What you are feeling right now is what I needed to hear in this moment :) Cheers! P.s. thank you for sharing the song as well, it's definitley uplifting***
Thanks for sharing and good for you for documenting this for yourself. I have had extreamly motivating positive moments that I seem to forget when I get my head in the wrong place or obsess about issues. Those who share positive feelings remind us all what it can be like to turn our lives and hearts over to our higher power moment by moment. Can't go wrong the way your going.
-- Edited by glad on Saturday 20th of February 2010 05:39:35 AM