The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been reading all of your posts for the past two weeks - I can't even tell you what a blessing it has been to read all of your stories and know that I am not alone!
My exAbf broke up with me two weeks ago - out of the blue. He and I have dated off and on for a year...He had been clean this time for a little over 5 months. He decided to go to an outpatient program during one of the months that we weren't communicating last year - so I really believed that he was doing the recovery for himself.
After we broke up, I started reading here and bought lots of books...I have been really taking care of myself and decided to just let him go but for some reason I called his phone 2 days ago. A girl answered and told me she bought his phone for 20 bucks the other night - I got off the phone and knew that he had spiraled. I know that he finally went back to his work (his boss called me) yesterday and was let go...so I guess he is looking for a job. His ex-wife also will probably not let him see his beautiful little girl (and I honestly don't blame her)...
I am not contacting him. I can't help him. I get all of that...but I am so sad. For him. For his daughter. For me. I hate this disease.
I am going to my first meeting tonight and was hoping a friend of mine was going with me but she isn't ready to go to al-anon yet. So I am going by myself.
Welcome to MIP, and congrats on going to your first meeting tonight.... There is a sticky note (near the top of the message board) about what to expect at the meetings - they are awesome!!
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Hi, Em - so glad you're going to your first meeting! I hope that you will find some peace there. It took me several meetings to really understand what was even going on, so if you feel confused or like you don't completely understand, know that it's normal and that the understanding will come.
Aloha Speck and Hailiestar...Welcome to the board and Speck I'm excited for you and your first meeting. I remember my first one and then the first real one after that. First one was a bummer because I was there. The real one was a quiet one with me sitting down, listening wondering where I was and was I gonna live thru what my spouse and I were going thru. I was done....toast....insane....barely alive. You can tell from me being here now I survive it until the next meeting and then the next following up on all the suggestions. I got my life back and it won't be surrendered to the disease ever again if I can, along with the fellowship, help it.
We all hate this disease not the person (though some do ).
If your first meeting is not what you expected or hoped, keep trying different meetings. I was lucky to have my first meeting become my home group and then many years later another meeting became my home group due to my schedule, but I have attended a few that were not the right fit for me.
The one thing I heard at an early meeting was "alanon's warranty" ~ if you try at least 6 different meetings and find Alanon is not for you, we will refund your misery.
Well heck, I did not want a refund that's for sure! so I kept coming ~ 10 years now and going strong.
Keep coming, keep posting, you are not alone.
yours in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Welcome to both - Speck and Hailie! Super glad you are here!
(((hugs))) to ya and hope your first meeting was SUPER...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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