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Hi everyone, my name is Phil and I'm a recovering alcoholic. Although my girlfriend has never experienced me in active addiction, she is the child of an alcoholic, and has shown interest in attending Al-Anon meetings.
Any suggested reading I should tell her about? We've had many conversations about the steps and the Big Book, but I don't really have any experience with Al-Anon specific literature.
I really like the 12 steps for adult children which I bought at a reg bookstore $11 paperback - it really helped me with my alanon bc as an ACoA, I have specific issues and behavioral tendencies/stinking thinking. Come to learn everything is not my fault, perfectionism is an ideal that does not exist and abandonment isssues have left, since I began loving me and putting me first. Today I live in the here and now, not in the fantasies in my head - it took a while but in a few short years, Im completely different, and applying the program to our lives - really works.
Courage to Change & One Day at a Time are good too. If she goes to f2f mtgs, it is likely they have some of the books there and can tell her much more or u cna even look for ACoA meetings.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I love the daily readers Courage to Change and One Day at a Time. Another one I would recommend is How Al Anon Works. All have been very helpful to me. (Big thanks to a certain angel here who sent me these books and others.) Good luck to you both. : )
There are 3 daily readers in Al-anon all of them are very good. Two have been mentioned (Courage to Change and One Day at A Time) but one of them "Hope for Today" is geared toward ACOA. Another book I purchased recently is good general reading especially for beginners "How Al-Anon Works". Eventhough I have been going to f2f meetings for over a year I wish I picked it up sooner. Also Phil congratulations on staying sober.
In addition to all the program books already suggested, I would encourage her to read any and all of the "Getting Them Sober" books, written by Toby Rice Drews - they are awesome - full of real life examples and straightforward understanding....
My other comment (unsolicited advice) is - I think it is awesome that you are trying to "help" her in her recovery, but please also remember that she is in a situation very much like you - her recovery is HERS, so encouragement is good, but you will likely want to give her the dignity of finding her recovery on her terms, just as you have needed to find your recovery on yours....
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Aloha Phil, for me what worked best was to get to a meeting. Every meeting I've ever been to had a fully stocked literature table and many of the pamphlets are free. While there she can attend a meeting while you attend an AA meeting close by or go have coffee with your sponsor. While I was introduced to Al-Anon by alcoholic wife's sponsor my real entry into recovery was when I wanted it. I'm sure you understand. (((((hugs)))))... Your open mindedness is a gift.
Thanks everyone so much for your suggestions. We'll be attending our first Al-Anon meeting next week. I've been an AA member for a couple of years now, but as an ACoA myself, I think Al-Anon's perspective will be good for me. For my girlfriend, it will be her introduction to the 12 steps. I'm really proud of her for having the willingness to take that first step.
