The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some things just jump right out and bite ya bum, I'm not too good with words some people can just write very few and get it right out there, me I have to write essays, but the the thing is, it all takes time to process what it is, I read to understand it fully and then struggle to try and apply it to my life, even when I understand something I struggle to not fall back into old ways, but with alanon and mip,with every slip and slide there are choices, if I get it wrong, note to me to try harder the next time, if I get it right, maybe it's gone in, yay, with every negative in life there is a posative, it's all balance, I took off my rose tinted glasses again the other day, I spent too much time looking over the horizon for my knight in shinning armour, he was the person that was going to make it all ok and we would ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after lol, but I suddenly realised there was no such thing, and to be my own knight in shinning armour is so so much nicer, I have spent so much time nurturing an illusion, it's took me even longer to realise it lol So now with the illusion out of the way, I am living in the now, today is all I have!
Katy...thank you for your post. I certainly can relate. The subject "The significant problems we have created cannot be solved at the same level of thinking as when we created them!" wowed me because it is so so true. Messed up thinking led to me a lot of messed up choices. Being able to see that my perceptions were so messed up took me a lot of time. These perceptions were what my choices were based on...ugh...but awareness finally hit me so that things could finally change. Differentiating between the fantasy of how I wanted something or someone to be and the reality of the way they were was something else that took me some time to see. Just another misconstrued perception...:) thank god for awareness as it is only once we become aware can changes in our thinking take place leading us to better choices. We can only do better once we know better...thanks again...:)
Thank you so much for your insight and clarity. I agree I needed alanon tools to change my attitude and enable me to see the error in my thinking and give me the "Courage to Change"
I agree, great topic. SO TRUE! ¨it all takes time to process what it is, I read to understand it fully and then struggle to try and apply it to my life, even when I understand something I struggle to not fall back into old ways...¨ Boy, can I ever relate to that! I think I'm doing good for awhile then something happens and I slip...but that's OK. Progress, not perfectiion, right? I don't know where I would be right now without this place. Little by little I'm learning to change my focus and put it on me. And working on the one thing I can control (making a better me) helps me to live with the things I can't control. Thanks for sharing.
Katy - thank you for the post/topic - so darn true....I feel the smack of reality myself today.
I decided I needed to do a bit of clean up with photos on my computer. Well - I had a bunch that were still funky names, and not at all categorized.
In this stack, there were prolly 20-30 photos that were:
- Of my son's sloppy room. - Of my son's needle marks on his arms. - Of my son's closet, drawers, etc.
My mind was absolutely 'snapped' to attention - as until I came here and began F2F meetings, I really did not understand the degree of my illness and my obsessions with 'fixing him/it/us/all/?'
I looked at these photos briefly, and dumped them. But - what a true, fast realization of where I was and where I don't want to return...
(((((katy and all)))))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I use the expression that with the program I now wear my "Al-Anon Shoes". When I have them on..........I'm working my program..........so all is well.........It's the times I forget to put them on or slip them off for a moment that causes me problems!!!
Katy = your post made me smile . A knight in shinning armour . Well yrs ago I saw a poster that put me in stitches , idont remember it exactlybut the jist was we who wait for knight in shinning armour often end up with a pooper scooper cleaning up the horse poop / sound familiar ?? hehe thanks for the chuckle
