The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I haven't posted in a while. Lots of things going on. A revelation of sorts has happened to me. I have spent alot of time in the last few months putting my focus on the ex. One thing I noticed is I go to fantasy land. Watching my thoughts I find while in this state, my thoughts are always on the good times. Mostly from the beginning of the relationship. Not a true window on the whole relationship. The biggest help though has been the realization that, every moment I spend in fantasy land, I give away forever a piece of my life. That thought seems to have given me alot of relief from wasting my life on something that is not real.
I am still off work because of my health, although there has been improvement. I have 2 months left on my driving restriction, almost there and I am so grateful although I have not had a great attitude about this, It is wonderful to have the majority of the time behind me. My hearing is good not as good as it was, but I think that will be corrected. Still love of all things the sound of my sheets crinkling when I get in bed. Feel like it is my HP telling me things are all ok and follow the course.
My son got his second DWI in three weeks last week, he is in jail and I have sent prayers to his hp that he can get some kind of message through to him about a better life out there for him. This has not got me in the swirl it would have in the past. I know in my heart that I have said everything I can think of to try and straighten him out to no avail, and once again I do not want to give up my life with my thoughts full of problems of another who I have zero power over.
Today for me Life is good. Not where I want to be but a whole lot better than it has been.
It states in Courage to Change....... Sometimes the best thing we can do for the alcoholic in our life is absolutely nothing. That sounds like what you are doing..... while detaching with love and turning him over to his HP. you son is in good hands. Hopefully this will be his bottom an he will seek the help he needs......his choice. You made your choice....and the right choice.... in realizing and accepting that nothing you have done to try to help in the past has made one ounce of difference. I admire you for your decision. I call it taking care of yourself first.
Well done...good choices....and life is good for you today....one day at a time.
