The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tonight I was watching this special on CNN. It just came on while I was on the treadmill at the gym. It was about how cheap and easy it is to get pain pills in Florida and how people can even track them to places like Kentucky and Tennessee for large profits. My mind instantly went to why the A wanted to go to a rehab in Florida- though he always said he was moving there for years. Still his addiction is to Oxycontin the big pain pill of choice in Florida, etc...maybe the whole thing was manipulation that I just played right into-lobbying for his family to help him in rehab, etc. Maybe sobriety was never on the agenda. I spoke to him this morning and he was all happy and talking about his new friends and his "sobriety." I knew there were girls there as I could hear them. For a moment intense jealousy and almost panic set in, but I remembered a post somone on here wrote and I just let myself feel the emotion until it passed and serenity did return. Thanks for letting me having my moments of weakness here and thanks for letting me share.
It's hard to be reminded of the situation. I don't know what's going on with your A, of course, but if pain pills are so easy to get in Florida, Florida must have a lot of experience with addicts. It's like Las Vegas probably has some pretty experienced gambling-addiction counselors! I'm sure your A can find drugs in any state in the country, or find recovery any place also. Fortunately you don't have to go that far for your own recovery! Keep coming back.
When living in addiction love comes last.....as far as girls at rehab I think they are mostly all co-ed......trust is an important thing to have...however can we ever really trust an addict???
I used to call my husbands bottle his mistress...that's who he had his affair with.....his recovery is his own...he did not have to go to rehab if he still wanted to use.....so hope for the best....get yourself some help......you dear lady need it.....get to f2f meetings just find someone to talk to who understands where you are....and begin to heal......
As far as the Florida thing, don't you think it would be easier to just stay where he was and keep getting drugs from people he knows and trust.,,,,just a thought.
Peace, Andrea
-- Edited by Andrea12 on Thursday 11th of February 2010 10:36:45 AM
Code...this is another stage for detachment and working the program. I watched part of that program and then turned it off. Who would have ever known that I could detach from anything addiction when I first got into program. Just last night part of the information of that show was that 50 of the largest prescription pill manufactures are in Florida....Another thing I am powerless over. Kentucky and Tennessee...powerless. Investigations...powerless still. Turn off the TV or turn the channel. I had gone to my home group meeting...Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG and stayed over for planning of the Fall Assembly on the eastside of the Big Island which we host every four years. We were doing our part to be there for those still to come because they have been affected by someone elses drinking and using. For me I can't do anything better than to help another person who has lost the fight in trying to change the life of an alcoholic or addict that doesn't want their life changed and which will take as many others including the alcoholic and addict into insanity or death. Oxycontin addiction? powerless!!
Informative yes...what did the information do for you? Help or hurt?
kinda with everyone else- he could get drugs anywhere - and when I get all stressed about other women the two things that help me are:
1. It is extreamly difficult to loose and alcoholic...even if you want to.
2. If I loose him under those circumstances (cheating, lies, someone else "taking" him away from me... whooo hooo higher power must have something else awesome in mind for me!!! woop eeee (okay I'm not always that enthuastic but you could look at it like that??)
anyway--- your at the gym.. I'll bet your in great shape and have a great mental attitude- your so awesome... why waste your amazing brain energy worrying about anything negative- maybe daydream about something awesome instead? Just a suggestion.
Sounds like you may be over analyzing a bit. (I am a recovering over analyzer.... :)
Pain pills can be obtained anywhere. My wife has been buying them "on-line" for years. The address of the company changes on a regular basis. -Israel, Luxenbourg, Winnipeg, Victoria BC, Stockholm, Texas...etc.
As an added bonus, the on line "Pharmacy" leaves voice mail messages on her cell phone, advertising their "specials". And, just in case she doesn't retrieve her voice mails, they are kind enough to send her emails, as well....
If he is in treatment, this is a really good thing! Try to focus on the portion of the glass that is full..
