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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> New here....
Post Info TOPIC: New here....
bszab


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New here....
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Hello. I am new here, but not new to Al Anon.

Aside from being an alcoholic, my Father is very, very ill. I honestly do not know how is body is even functioning.  He looks so sick. Every day I wonder if I will get "the call". I even have a hard time talking to him on the phone. He is really out of control right now. I know that there is nothing that I can do to help him. He just repeats the same story to me up to 5 times in a row. He is verbally and physically abusive to everyone around him.
Right now I can't seem to stop running through my mind what will happen when I get the call. I go over it and over it and over it in my mind. I also have really bad guilt for thinking this. In a way I think that I am just trying to prepare myself. I know that I have no control over him and his choices. When I look at him it breaks my heart. He looks so ill. Thin, and his skin is all broken out all over his face. He has horrible pains in his side and chest, yet refuses any medical help.

Sorry this is so long, I just don't have anyone else to talk to tonight...

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kitty


~*Service Worker*~

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I am sorry that you are having to watch ur dad go through this.  We know how u feel, as many of us here have loved ones in the same position - in the grips of their addiction.

This site has a chat room - 24/7 chat & two daily meeting in there, run just like a f2f one.  Talking to others live/in real time, people that truly do understand - is a Blessing, it is for me anyway.  Whenever I need someone to talk to, that is where I go - hope to "meet" you in there sometime.

Welcome to MIP.

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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
bszab


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Thank you for your quick response!  I will check out the chat room very soon.


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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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(((Bszab))))
Welcome to MIP  I am so sorry that your father is so very ill and that  are experiencing the effects  of this  painful disease. 

Glad that you went to chat room and if you got there you  have no doubt beengiven some great tools to begin to dal with this intense sadness.

Please keep coming back here and posting as this is how we help each other in this program.  Also just in case you have forgetten  Alanon meetings are very helpful and can be found in every state.
 
Go To Meetings,  start to use the tools of alanon, and come here often and Post.  There are 2 On Line Meetings held here every day and a 24 hour chat room.  
 
It is important that  you  realize that you  are not alone.  Thousands of people have been in the same position as you  and have found help and peace.
    
 Help with finding local meetings near where you live may be found at the following web site:            http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon

Online meetings are held in the Al-Anon chat room associated with this site.

From the board click on Al-Anon Group Meeting/Chat Room in the yellow box in upper left of the page.  After clicking on the link please be patient, sometimes it takes a while for the window to open.

There is also book recommended here titled "Getting Them Sober.  One of the Members has generously offered a free copy to anyone who needs it. 

Please refer to the  Sticky at the top of the board.

STICKY: Offer of a great book...

As one of our members likes to say"Stay around and help us recover."



-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 11th of February 2010 12:48:31 AM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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Bszab - good morning and welcome to MIP!  I'm new enough to only offer you (((((hugs))))) and perhaps a small amount of hope. 

The folks here at MIP and also at F2F meetings remind me each day how powerless I truly am over all that is around me.  They have given me tools to get through the day no matter how my mind/heart/family is.  My hope for you is that your HP and the great members here and at F2F meetings will also carry you thru this rough, rough time in your life.

One basic thing folks reminded me to do when I got was 'breathe'.  It sounded so darn silly to me, but it is amazing that it helps when my mind and heart are racing.

We are glad you are here and know that you don't have to go through this alone!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Ness


~*Service Worker*~

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Hi bszab...........welcome smile 

Alcoholism is such a cruel disease, its the only one that tells the sufferer they dont have one.

Watching the physical and mental deterioration of the ones we love is painful and frightening. Fear ruled my life for so long I lost all normality.

As the disease of alcoholism progresses it becomes too much for us to cope with alone.

The help and understanding (and lots of hugs) at my Al-Anon face to face meetings and from this wonderful family here at MIP have restored me to sanity.

Glad you have found us, and that you already attend meetings. Hope you keep coming back and continue to grow and heal in the programme.

((((hugs)))) Ness



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Jerry F


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Aloha bszab...Welcome to the board and keep coming back daily if you can.
Read and listen for the suggestions and to the best of your ability try to
follow up on them as soon as you can.

About the very best I could do for my alcoholic cousin which you describe very well
in describing your father, was pray and give him a hug and speak in a relaxed
loving manner around him.  That was different to do as in the earlier drinking time
we use to feed into the "ism" of alcohol daily.  He was my alcoholic sponsor, my
drinking professor.  "If I did it how he taught it I would..."  It almost killed me and
did kill him but not before I was able to do the above for him.

Al-Anon for me is what worked. I pray you also take the suggestions...Go to meetings
read as much of the literature as you can, learn the steps and traditions and slogans
get a sponsor and practice, practice, practice.  Your going to program will not stop
your father's pain and you will learn that you didn't Cause it, cannot Control it,
will not Cure it. 

(((((hugs))))) smile

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glad


~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you for your post- my father in law is in the same shape- I understand, be easy on yourself. I have no answers, only (((( hugs))) and understanding of your situation and thanks for everyone who shares on this topic!!

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bszab


Member

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Posts: 5
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Thank You everyone for the warm welcome. I am already feeling better knowing that that I have found this site.

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TwistedServant


Veteran Member

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welcome bszab.

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Have a great day, unless you have other plans.
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