falling out of love - Al-Anon Family Group

lindseymommyof2 · Member

falling out of love

Melissa21 · Senior Member

Welcome lindseymommyof2

You've come to the right place!!

We come to alanon to learn to focus on ourselves and not them. There is nothing we can do to make them stop. They wont stop till they are reading. We have meetings in the chat room twice a day 8am/pm central time. And other than those times we just have open chat.

You will know when enough is enough and if it's time to go. Just wait. Waiting is a verb so your still taking action! :) We are told when joining alanon to try and wait at least 6 months before making any major decisions. The tools here can help and you may change your mind!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Lindseymommyof2

Melissa has already given you some great suggestions. I would also like to add

my Welcome to MIP

In order to find the right answers to the important questions you need alanon suggests that you:

Go To Meetings, start to use the tools of alanon, and come here often and Post. There are 2 On Line Meetings held here every day and a 24 hour chat room.

It is important that you realize that you are not alone. Thousands of people have been in the same position as you and have found help and peace.

Help with finding local meetings near where you live may be found at the following web site: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html Or call: 1-888-4alanon

Online meetings are held in the Al-Anon chat room associated with this site.

From the board click on Al-Anon Group Meeting/Chat Room in the yellow box in upper left of the page. After clicking on the link please be patient, sometimes it takes a while for the window to open.

There is also book recommended here titled "Getting Them Sober. One of the Members has generously offered a free copy to anyone who needs it.

Please refer to the Sticky at the top of the board.

STICKY: Offer of a great book...

PLEASE KEEP COMING BACK

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome -- you'll find many people who know what you're going through here! I do hope you can get to some face-to-face meetings too. Many towns have meetings with childcare. In our town there's a central number where someone will tell you when the meetings are and which ones have childcare (it may also be on the web in your town). I know it's hard to get out when you have small kids, but taking care of ourselves is so important, especially when we have small kids, because that means taking care of them too.

I personally realized I couldn't live with the alcoholism and chaos any more when I learned the statistics about how many alcoholics recover (it's something like less than 25%). I had believed my ex that he was going to get control, he was going to stop, his lapses meant nothing, it wouldn't be a problem, etc. etc. -- though I was getting more and more impatient at why it was a huge deal to me but he didn't seem to think it was a problem at all. When I realized that nothing was going to change, I made the decision to leave. It retrospect I should have left much sooner -- I would have saved us both much grief and bad feeling -- but I didn't understand how things really were.

Keep coming back and learning more. Life can be better than you can even conceive of now. Many people on these boards are proof.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Lindsey...Welcome to MIP and the door to the Al-Anon Family Groups. If you
have not read a lot of the other post thousands of which have suggested attending
Al-Anon face to face (f2f) meetings let me do that now. Go to the white pages of
your local telephone book and call the Al-Anon hotline and get the meeting times
and locations so that you can get there early. Get as much literature as you can
and read it all. In the meeting sit down listen and learn. The program can and will
save minds, bodies, spirits and emotions infact lives. I'm only one of those people
who got his life back from the program.

Just a personal experience? There is not such thing as a functional alcoholic. Under
the influence of alcohol a person becomes altered, abnormal, dysfunctional. 4DWIs
are only a small part of the proof.

Keep coming back...This works when you work it. (((((hugs))))) smile

BatonRougian · Member

I fell out of love with my first wife. Man was that an easy divorce compared to this one. I sure wish I could fall out of love again. Anyway its your life and you only get one shot at that mother. If you see a chance for a better life and a happier life for you and your kids then take it. You dont owe anyone anything except you kids. Personally I dont think kids should have to grow up with drunk dads and moms who run around trying to manage the drinker. Forgive my opinionatedness this morning. Im in a jerk of a mood.

btw how is 4 dwi, rolling trucks and having no license funtional?

lindseymommyof2 · Member

BatonRougian wrote:

I fell out of love with my first wife. Man was that an easy divorce compared to this one. I sure wish I could fall out of love again. Anyway its your life and you only get one shot at that mother. If you see a chance for a better life and a happier life for you and your kids then take it. You dont owe anyone anything except you kids. Personally I dont think kids should have to grow up with drunk dads and moms who run around trying to manage the drinker. Forgive my opinionatedness this morning. Im in a jerk of a mood.

btw how is 4 dwi, rolling trucks and having no license funtional?

Thanks everyone for the responses! I guess..I don't know....how that is functional?! That is for sure something to think about. I guess I think since he goes to work everyday and works hard...but then down falls and has this need for his beer. Ugh seriously I would leave if I could right now. Wish I could just kick him out.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.