The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I texted the A tonight...just real casual...couldn't stand it...hadn't talked to him in a week. He didn't respond and now I feel weak and bad that I gave in.
Oh, I've so done this - so many times. Usually, I have had it in my mind what I wanted the other person to say back to me ... and if I didn't get anything back or didn't get what I wanted back, I was upset.
It's okay, don't beat yourself up. This program is about progress, not perfection. It certainly seems like you're in a way different place than when you got here - so it's working because you're working it!
Yeah. I look back to where I was 4 or 5 years ago and I am amazed. I have wanted to call this week sorta...it would flare up...I would pray, detach, peaceful...flare up, etc... Tonight I just gave in. I guess I expected some sort of response. Now the challenge is to forgive myself and not obsess about how he thinks I am weak and blah blah blah... :) Sounds like junk to me.
put down the bat - you're only human. What he thinks of you doesn't matter - what YOU think of you is what is important. Come here or to the chat room when you need reassurance or validation - you are much more likely to get what you need rather than from your A. It's old "going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread" thing - not gonna happen.
you're doing fine - just keep on working it one day/hour/minute/second at a time.
Been there and done that a couple times also...had to learn how to say "sorry I dialed the wrong number...disregard." and then go on with my day. We're allowed to make mistakes. Might even plan a couple for the week just to feel normal. ((((hugs))))
In part, I think that they put the vibes out there. That is, they hook us sometimes. Even unconsciously they push our buttons and we respond. I have done that. I just tell myself that his disease is alive and well and keeping him busy.
