I've always been proud the fact that I don't try to control my children. Now 26 and 21 I felt I encouraged them to make their own decisions they are both great! Well long story short as possible my youngest was invited to live with the couple she works for at a small but successful retail store in our town 3 years ago after she graduated High School. She is blessed to have a- one time offer-full scholarship for a well known nursing program in the area and she pursued this while working for and living with these people. In the beginnng I did call the woman involved and opened up and cried a little and basically let her know I wanted my daughter to live with me and I wish my daughter would reconsider- the women acted as if she had nothing to do with this and it was all my daughters decision. My daughter listed several reasons-independance, something new, too old to live with Mom etc. If I look at it realistically it was  due to the alcoholism in our home and my new A boyfriend I invited to live with us. ---  I want to cry as I write this, well it's now about 3 years later, he's here but of course my daughter is not.
My daughter has completed classroom credits and it is now time to go into the nursing program (which would limit her ability to work at the retail store). She just sent me an email stating basically she is 99% sure she is not going to nursing school and that her bosses friends/ family the people that own this store- whatever they are/ have offered her a persentage of sales to stay there and not go to school. I am sick.... sick that I feel they have used her to have a very good fulltime employee that lives with them and well they give her expensive gifts and take her expensive places but it seems if they really cared they would want her to finish school and then if they still want her as a business partner the offer would still stand. There is something wrong with them or the situation I know because they never try to get to know me and have made my older daughter feel uncomfortable around them too. We may not be at what they consider their "social standing" but we are not trash or even "underprividledged". Just normal-middle class my older daughter is very classy in her own way so I don't know why they "shun" her except to keep her away from my younger daughter?? It's like she was taken over by a cult-- but it's just them. They have a son-- I understand he either is or was in some trouble-and I don't ever hear anyone speak of him my youngest daughter is such a "pleaser" as far a following rules and being a good girl she also will do whatever the person in authority tells her- unless it was me so obviously I messed up somewhere. Teachers coaches everyone loves her, her dad and I divorced when she was in 9th grade and I got together with my A boyfriend shortly after and well, I wish I had done different-I don't know what she feels about that but it can't be good. I can't change the past, is there anything I can do to make today better. She walked away from me (maybe she would have anyway, I don't know) and walked into the arms of people who seem to care for her but also seem to have gotten a very good deal from this relationship. But the not finishing school thing--- I feel miserable because I caused but I can't control it and I can't fix it. not setting a good example--getting involved with a A boyfriend and way too quickly-when I should have paid extra attention to her, ugh!!! it's a mess.. this couple seems to have it all together to her--I just can't believe they care for her if they are putting her in a position where she will always be obligated to them with no choices. There is so much more I could say... thanks for listening.