We are having some work done in our house using cement. Days ago we picked the color it was going to be. Yesterday A went into town to buy the tint for the cement. He usually volunteers to go into town for anyhting we need because he can buy himself a bottle there. He had not had a drink in two days and I hated to see him go because I was sure he would come back with liquor and get drunk later in the day. But I've finally realized I'm powerless over his drinking. Well, he came back with the tint but in a different color than we had agreed on. I asked if they were out of ¨our¨ color. He said no, they had it but he thought this color would be better. Not long ago this would have been the start of an argument. The control freak in me would have reminded him that we had already picked the color and that was what he was supposed to get. But yesterday I just smiled and said ¨If you think this color will be better I'm glad you got it. Thanks for taking care of this.¨ And it was easy, I didn't even have to count to 10 first. I realized this fell into the category of ¨small stuff¨, not worth fussing about. Also, I was happy that he actually made a decision about what he thought was better. I mean, he's been so uninvolved in everything around here lately it was good to see him take even a little bit of interest in something. And the best part is that he must not have bought a bottle because he still wasn't drinking the rest of the day or night. I don't expect this to continue on his part (his not drinking), but I do expect it to continue and get even easier on my part (giving up my controlling behavior).
Geeeze, for such a small thing it sure feels good!