The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to this site. I have read a lot of the messages here and I am hoping that it will help me too. My AH has been to rehab 3 times and is attending AA meetings but still "slips" quite regularly. He has quite a few medical issues that have been going on for years now. (We have been married 32 years) I guess I'm just tired. I have thought about leaving him, but when he's sober and relatively "pain free" I do still love him. I have made my New Years Resolution this year to work on me. Quit smoking, get healthy, and to let go. I'm hoping that all of you can help me heal.
Well, your husband doesn't sound much different than most A's. And you're on the right track, attempting to take the focus off him and his slips and working on you. As strange as it may seem, the principles of Al-anon can show you how to continue to live with him and be happy whether he stops drinking or not. So, stick around, meet some new friends, try some of the meetings here and some face to face meetings as well. Keep hoping, keep praying, keep sharing.
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If you want something you never had before, then do something you never did before.
Welcome, glad you are here. You have found the right place to start your journey in your recovery. If you have been reading I'm sure your have read the suggestion in most posts to newcomers to find an Al-Anon group near you. No one there are here can make you heal, but here and in f2f meetings you will be told how others have used the program to heal and have a better way of life. Please get involved and I promise you will not regret it. It's the best thing I ever did for myself, it can be for you also. Do it for yourself. You deserve it.
You stated that you are tired. I can remember not being tired,.......but being sick and tired of the disease. I still live with active alcoholism in my home, and I still have to deal with the problems the disease throws at me. But, the Al-Anon program and f2f meetings were a life saver for me. The program taught me how to take care of myself first,... use the tools of the program,... and offered slogans such as... "Don't react"..."How imporant is it"..."Let go and let God" and ..."When in doubt don't'. The slogans are just empty words until you start applying them in you everyday life, when I did they became a life changer.
Jodi you already know what has not worked for you. Try something that has worked for countless thousands of members world wide for over 50 years. Jump in this program with both feet... you won't regret it.
Thank you for your reply. I guess I'm not real excited about going to an Alanon meeting as I went two times and I knew everybody there (live in a small town) and I don't want the whole town to know my shame. So, I just sat there and shared nothing. I will think about attending again. Thanks again.
I guess I'm not real excited about going to an Alanon meeting as I went two times and I knew everybody there (live in a small town) and I don't want the whole town to know my shame. So, I just sat there and shared nothing.
Hi, and welcome to MIP... the interesting thing about Al-Anon, and the anonymity of the program, is that 99% of the time, everyone else at that same meeting is wanting to remain anonymous as well, so I would find it highly unlikely that your story would leave the walls of that room.... That being said, I understand your concern, and it's not easy to share openly..... One of the best healing aspects, however, is to become honest with ourselves and to others (particularly safe people, like at meetings), so it's a great part of your recovery.... Hope you can reconsider, and try looking it that you are worth it (and you are), and this is your "medicine" for what ails you....
Take care, and keep coming back..
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Welcome Sweet Stanley! Glad you're here! I'm new too and am grateful MIP is here.
Best to you with 2010 - may it be a great year for us all.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Aloha Sweet Stanley...Just a helpful perspective? Alcoholism is a disease, like cancer and diabetes...there's no shame in it. Neither of you are less than but suffering from probably the worse chemical disease known to the human race. Arrrrgh. I was born and raised in it and am glad to have found out how to have had that distinction and be able to have a great life anyway. Got the great life part from inside the program.
Leave your fear of the program in the den or the garage or basement before you go to the meeting. Pick it back up after you get back home. The smalled the town the more it knows anyway. No Secrets. (((((hugs)))))
Update: I'm going to F2F meetings now, (have 3 under my belt) and I have to admit that you were all right! I had apprehension about it being a small town, but like the post stated "they all there for the same reason." I have never been real good at talking in front of people, but I have to tell you, I am trying a new approach. I heard somewhere when addiction was being discussed; "Secrets Keep You Sick." Those words rang a chord for me. So, I'm talking, sharing, and listening. It is good and I can see myself growing a lot in the weeks to come! Thank you all for being here - I am learning SO much from all of you!
The world said "give up" and Hope whispered "try one more time".
Thank you all for being here - I am learning SO much from all of you!