The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just wanted to introduce myself. I am the mother of two, a girl 14 and a boy 12. My partner of 2 and 1/2 years is a "functional" alcoholic. She is a professional woman and maintains her work but drinks each night.
I look forward to having somewhere to ask questions particularly about parenting.
i am new to alanon also and have two children ages 8 and 5. so far, i have found that posting and going to face to face meetings has helped me so much!!! i have also been reading and that helps me remember to work the steps. so welcome to you and i'm glad you're here!
Hello Stephanie, Hugs to you and your kids. Welcome to MIP.
I too have 2 children that are the love of my life and the added incentive that I needed to seek alanon.
When I first came to this board I was out of my mind in desperation for any help that I could find. What I found here on this board and in the chat room was loving supportive people that have helpped me sooo much.
My children are very young 3 and 5 but they are soo smart and realize more than we think. Most of all my wanting to shelter and protect them from this cunning disease and realizing that no matter what I do can not fully protect them. The best thing that I have done to this point is learn about the disease and get myself healthier, in this I have become a calmer more sane person that has grown emensly. In my children I see less concern and worry on their faces and in whole we have a clamer more relaxed home life. It has not been easy but when I see a change in me, my children and my alcoholic husband it is rewarding and I am truely greatful for this program and the people who have shared the experience, strength and hope with me and all of the others here and at face to face meetings.
I still have some days that I feel the guilt of the effects that alcoholism has caused my children but have also discovered that I have the ability to educate them about this disease and have the ability and tools to help them and be there for them rather than being caught up in the disease my self.
I am also new. When I married my husband he was a recovering alcoholic. For over 24 years we raised two wonderful girls and through hard work have a lovely home. Four years ago he started drinking again and nothing has been the same. I'm doing everything wrong---searching for the bottles, finding them, yelling. I'm terrified to lose everything we have since that's where this is headed. He's drinking and driving and he's already hurt himself. I have been to Al Anon meetings in several places, different groups. I didn't like it. I don't want to stand in a circle and say little prayers, sobbing in front of strangers. I want to save what's left of my family and protect my daughters from financial ruin so they can continue college. Maybe that sounds harsh. Maybe I should cry some more, but that's over. I've cried enough to fill a lake. I've begged, made bargains, professed undying love, begged some more. He refuses to leave, so we're living around him. This house, the one we built and all love, reeks of betrayal and ruin now. I wish I'd never had those happy years rather than to have them and then lose them after all this time. I'm so exhausted and defeated. And just waiting for that final phone call. Gayle
Hi Stephanie, and welcome. Thank you for sharing with us.
You have come to the right place here on the message board. Have you been to a face to face meeting in your town?
Here there are folks like yourself who can answer your questions to their best ability, or can lead you to the literature that will be helpful.
Alcoholism is a disease that we often can't discuss with those closest to us, for whatever reason. The folks here on the message board have lived though where you are and offer empathy.
The emphasis of the program is accepting that you have no control over the actions of the A....but to help you be happy within yourself, no matter what the A chooses to do.
