The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My current job is a very emotionally abusive environment. I realize the need to remain there for the financial benefits - obviously- so I try to endure what I can but, day by day it becomes harder for me to remain the passive individual I am required to be in order NOT to make waves in my company.
I know I've spoken on here before about my distress surrounding my job and the bizarre dysfunction that operates within this organization - mixed messages and mind reading and all sorts of unhealthy junk. I try to just acknowledge it without contributing to the insanity of it all.
I interviewed for a "Dream" job quite some time ago. It was a company I would have LOVED to work for - who had values similiar to my own and who I felt really embodied the sort of organization that is ethical and considerate of their employees. Needless to say my interviewing process came to a halt about a month ago and I knew they would no longer pursue me as a candidate.
Last week I saw the SAME ad for the SAME position with the SAME company online. They hadn't found anyone yet. At first I took it VERY personally, I felt defeated and rejected.
In therapy, my therapist urged me to contact the company and be candid about my lack of qualifications in all areas they were seeking experience in, but to stress that I was a quick learner and committed and dedicated to learning whatever skills were necessary to excel at the job and would they please reconsider me for the position. This is something I would have NEVER, EVER done in the past.
The crazy thing is - they agreed. They sent me the battery of test and assessments required as the next step for their company. But now I feel paralyzed. There are some areas in which I clearly am super confused - alot of the financial/balance sheet stuff they want done that in the past I have never had to prepare alone. I know I'm going to agonize over what is right and wrong and am REALLY, REALLY trying to stay positive about the whole thing.
Thanks so much for letting me share. So grateful for MIP!!!!
RunnerChick wrote: In therapy, my therapist urged me to contact the company and be candid about my lack of qualifications in all areas they were seeking experience in, but to stress that I was a quick learner and committed and dedicated to learning whatever skills were necessary to excel at the job
(((RC))) Please try not to stress over this too much. You were up front about your qualifications and they were willing to give you a try. Have faith in yourself and your HP that you will learn this job. I think things happen for a reason and I believe that you did not get this job by accident.
RC...........I think its brilliant that you applied again and brilliant they agreed.
My daughter is starting a new job on Monday and is terrified. She was honest about her limitations up front, but that she was willing to learn what she cant do at the moment and they have given her this chance. This is a girl, well shes still my girl at 35! who separated from her abusive A husband a year ago, has major care for her 2yr old and whos confidence and self esteem were at rock bottom because thats where the ex bullied her to and tried to keep her there.
So I told her....... look what youve done on your recovery in the last yr, threw the abusive A out, kept a home together, reared a beautiful daughter, took herself into voluntary work around addicts and single parents, worked from home at night when the baby was in bed and much more..............and YOU THINK you cant do this job?? So what if she cant and finds she has to leave.....at least she will know she gave it her best and move on.
What an opportunity RC.....so I say the same to you.....look at your growth since your first post, I applaud your therapist for this suggestion and you...... for moving forward to the stage you are at now......even if you are not ready to take it further at this stage your growth is phenomenal......well done.
RC...........I think its brilliant that you applied again and brilliant they agreed.
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first post, I applaud your therapist for this suggestion and you...... for moving forward to the stage you are at now......even if you are not ready to take it further at this stage your growth is phenomenal......well done.
I am grateful you made this post. I know that feeling. I have been in the same position for the last 7 to 8 years. It is not the most positive environment. I know I am smart enough to find another position that will pay more and challange me. My problem is my self esteem. Every time I go just looking at ads I get frustrated that I may be missing a skill (mind you I can learn) and that I am just wasting my time.
Here I see you moving and trying something that is a challenge for you and you tried. You discovered something about yourself in the process. I see how the self esteem really could eat at you, but good for you for finding your perfect job. I love that you found a company that has your values and a positive environment to work in. Even if you don't get the position right away at least the company will see you as a possible candidate in the future. Plus you will know the skills you need to gain and be able to work towards that!
Super A++ to you for trying... your an inspiration to me!!!
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Still looking for that famous quote! Important thing is I am Here!
Good for you! What a good reminder that there aren't always only 2 choices (get the job or don't get the job) and things aren't always just black and white!
I'm totally smiling for you - way to go after what you want!
Ditto all above me - you GO GIRL!!! (((((Hugs)))))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
