The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
OK, I will say that my life has gotten calmer now that I'm learning to take care of ME. I'm beginning to wonder how well I can really do that with Ah in my life. In the past year I've thought numerous times of telling him he has to leave. But we cannot afford two households, we're barely making it holding one together. But I feel like my life would be so much easier if I didn't have to deal with him. I DO love him but that's what makes it even harder. I can't stand watching him drink himself to death. And I have no doubt that 's what he's doing. I know the A has to ¨hit bottom¨ before they will find help for themself. But I've seen things in the last few months that definitely say ¨BOTTOM¨ to me. Obviously these events do not say the same thing to him. Im starting to think about ways I can make money to support myself if and when he is gone. I'm not sure where he would go, but I'm begiinning to not care. When he's not drinking I so enjoy his company and being with him. When he's drinking I just want him t o be away from me. And lately he's drinking more days than not. Im not going to make any hasty decisions, but this is definitely in my mind. It just feels good to get my thoughts out. Thanks for being here and allowing me to do that.
i have been in your shoes and leaving my AH was one of the hardest things I have ever done! Having said that....i needed the space and freedom leaving him gave me to sort out my own emotions and evaluate our marriage. whilst with him i could see no way forward...now we are apart i can see a glimmer of hope that we can resolve our differences. we now have strict boundaries of what is and isnt acceptable to each other when we are together...when we are apart we are free to miss each other which we had lost out on when we were 24/7 in each others company (we are both on long term sick leave from work).
i have put a nice home together for myself, i am relaxed and confident that even if we don't get back together i have a future to look forward to instead of dreading.
Hello again , am sorry your having such a rough time latley , perhaps a part time job for now I know your out in the country so don't know if that is possible for you , but it would keep u busy and away from the house ,not so much time to watch and worry , besides I believe a gal should have a little money of her own , for personal goodies ya know ?? keep looking your going to be just fine .
I've been at a similar place to where you are now. It sounds like you are beginning to do some of the footwork to figure out what your options are. For me, it was also real important to try to listen out for my HP will for me - it helped me avoid "forcing solutions" (when I listened - tee hee) Good luck and keep thinking and listening.
