The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks to all who replied to my post both publicly and privately. All of your responses had a common theme which ultimately reinforces the lesson I've been having to keep learning lately - I simply can't expect rational behavior from an active A.
I will not be confronting him with his unacceptable behavior. It is fruitless to do so and will only result in more stress.
All I can do is change my behavior and work on my relationship with my child.
Here's what I can do to keep him safe:
I can screen the phone calls.
I can open and maintain a dialogue about the disease of alcoholism with my young son. I can do this without bashing my AH.
I can continue to examine, set and enforce my own personal boundaries. By doing so, I show my son how to do this as well.
I can continue to reassure my young son that he is loved and safe with me.
I can continue working my program.
Thanks again for listening and offering me your loving ESH.
glad to read you are taking small steps towards healing yourself (and your son). having only just accepted the concept of 'i can do nothing for my AH if he doesnt want to do anything for himself' i can only imagine how hard it must be when there is a child caught up in the cross fire!!!! you need to be brave, determined and absolutely resolute that your life will become more bearable once you put the 12 steps into practise. and you have to practise to get it right. little by little you will gain confidence in your ability to detatch from you A. this may not lead to separating from him - just handing back the responsibility of his illness to him may be enough to set you free.
