The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning family. I am happy to report that yesterday was event free. We did not see the police, the emergency room, the diversion officer - and I am really, really grateful.
There were opportunities for me to react, and I chose to do so very differently.
I read here yesterday about addiction to chaos and boredom, and could not, at that moment relate. This morning, I can definitely relate to the chaos addiction. When I awoke, I was so grateful that yesterday was event-free and was excited to come here and share.
So - I do my thing - say my prayers, and arrive to get fulfilled. I read and I learn, I work to focus on the messages and then prepare to share. I'm stuck on what to write - as things are calm! LoL.
For me, for today, I am battling staying in the moment. My mind wants to project how the day will go. My mind wants to plan for the what ifs and I'm sure that...
You see, for me, when things are going well - I can be my own best friend and do what you and others have taught me. Or, I can be my own worst enemy, trick myself into wellness and not do what has been working.
I am very grateful this morning, but also afraid of the work you all tell me I must do to change me.
I am elated there were no major events to share, yet fearful for the next one.
All the worry I typically do keeps trying to take over my brain. I keep turning it over, and then taking it back. Thank goodness I have a sense of humor!
(((((Hugs))))) to all for getting me to this day. Your ESH will keep me forward facing and working on the next right thing. My gratitude to each of you and this board is so beyond words.
We have had 2 days of sunshine (yay), so for any to the east of Kansas in the states, it's headed your way. We should have more today, and then we've got a major storm headed our way. I could live without another snow storm, but sure am grateful for the sunshine.
Thanks 4 listening and thanks 4 being here!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great insight. We are so accustomed to drama and crisis that when it is not there we are confused and our minds will search around for something to worry about or some thing to obsess about. Your wisdom in recognizing this is a great awareness!! I found at times like this. a slogan or the serenity prayer repeated constantly in my brain helped me to do the next right thing.
Have no fear about the difficult road of recovery!! I found that it was much more painful to remain un recovered.
The steps, slogans, meetings, sponser are all positive tools that makes this journey exciting and rewarding.
Betty - thank you for helping me with my fear of recovery. The experience of those who've gone before me is what kept me coming back in AA and is exactly what keeps me coming back here.
I do have to laugh. I just wasn't sure what the 'next right thing' was ... so I made breakfast for my 2nd born, took him to school and then returned here. Just a small bit of 'to-dos' helped with my thinking.
I began my 'stuff' - laundry (yuck) and then off to take a bubble bath. I then decided I needed to read, so picked up the Co-Dependent No More book. Of course, when I opened it to where my bookmark was - it's the Chapter of Detachment followed by Easy Does it.
Why is it so darn difficult for us/me to do for me? It feels so darn good when I get through it, but starting and going through it is uncomfortable and different.
I rode my exercise bike for a bit, and said the Serenity Prayer the whole time. I'm having a gotta stay busy feeling today, so that's my plan.
Have a super day and thanks for the share/wisdom!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
IAH- Someone here once asked why for a simple program it's sometimes so hard!?! I am pretty new here too and although I'm learning to change sometimes it's such a struggle. But I guess it will get easier the longer I work at it. Practice, practice, practice. I'm so happy to hear you're having a good day.
Thanks Pineapple and all for responding and reading my share.
I can say that yesterday was another event-free day. We had some issues and some drama. I worked, as best I could, to not engage, not endulge and keep my mouth quiet.
What I learned is if I don't engage, and I don't react it so changes the outcome and the length of the exchange. My ASon just can't figure out what is/has changed. He's not having as much fun as their is no longer an emotional sparring partner.
I can share that he got super angry at me last night because I talked with 'the girlfriend'. Of course, I learned some things (lies) as did she. When I picked him up from work, I did not yell, confront, etc.
Instead, I told him that no matter where he is, what he's done and how he feels, he should never drive under the influence. After talking with his brother, my 2nd son, I also told my ASon that he could call for a ride, no questions asked while he still resides here as an alternative to driving under the influence.
He absolutely blew up and stormed to his room. I opted to just ignore/not react, and he came down about 30 minutes later and apologized.
If and when I can stay grounded, and detach - either with love or with disinterest, it so works better for my emotions. This is so far removed from my reactions in the past and his reactions as well.
Have I said how grateful I am for you all today? (((((Hugs)))))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
