The material presented
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to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, my name is Emily. I am 25 years old. I am part of the Alanon Miracles in Progress Community and am looking for a 12-stepper or otherwise HEALTHY individual/living space (physical) to stay with for 6-12 solid months beginning sometime in April or May.
I am straight-edge and do not use substance of any kind. I am a huge advocate of 12-step recovery and healthy-lifestyle living. I am part of the alanon community and started 2 ACOA meetings in the town in which I currently live. I also do a lot of volunteer work.
I am highly dedicated to my personal recovery (from growing up in a dysfunction home) and am looking for a place to stay (a small room would be perfect) in a great community with lots of resources for $100-150.00/month where I can rest my head and focus solely on recovery and community involvement.
I am responsible and tidy. I moved to Burlington, VT 3 years ago for school to start my life fresh and gain some new insight and perspective and have found great healing and support here. Unfortunately, due to funds running low and the state of the economy, I cannot afford to live anywhere at the standard cost of living. I would like to re-integrate myself in a great community with healing and support.
If I do not find a place to stay I will be forced to have to go back to my unhealthy home, states away. I do not want to do this, as I believe it would be counterproductive to my healing journey. I would really like to stay somewhere safe, with like-minded folks who share similar values and interests and continue on my growth and healing path.
I like to read, write, listen to music, and reflect. I like to go out into nature, kayak and camp. I am pretty low-maintenance, as I have adapted the minimalist lifestyle as part of my "spiritual" practice ;)
I figured this forum would be a great place to start, as it's part of my online community and part of my "home." Please do not hesitate to contact me. You can either send me a private message on here or email me at: Not2bforgot10@yahoo.com
Thank you.
-- Edited by Not2bforgot10 on Tuesday 26th of January 2010 09:17:21 AM
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"Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication" -Gail Devers.
This board has a very diverse setting and I'm not sure there are that many people from the area you are in. I'd strongly suggest you try other boards to further your request. There are many and you can put out multiple postings.
I should probably mention that I am not looking for housing strictly in my community. I am willing to relocate. As long as the home/community is safe and resourceful, we can talk about it.
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"Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication" -Gail Devers.
You say you moved away for school? I am assuming college? Why can't you get a dorm room pretty cheap at the "independent student" price? If you are independent of your parents you will be eligible for a lot more student aid, then there are always loans....
Student loans are not the best way to fund college, but it definately is A way if you don't want to be dependent on toxic parents.
My husband and I did that, we paid our own way through college and we are STILL paying back the loans, LOL, but it was worth it.
There are a LOT of other avenues open to you other than wanting to stay with strangers. There are old fashioned boarding houses in almost any college community, where you rent just a bedroom for the price you specified. Why not look into one in your community?
You mentioned wanting to stay with "healthy" people who are in a 12 step program. I hate to point this out to you, but "healthy" people don't usually take in strangers into their home. They also want to be around "healthy" people, and taking in a stranger is pretty risky, for YOU too!
Why not find a boarding house for your price in your own community? Then you can stay in your home groups that you have started. Perhaps even your friends from your group can help you find a place, people that KNOW you.
If you find someone willing to take you in, how can you be sure that you will find a job in your new place? How would you afford the rent? How would you get to meetings? Do you have a car? Ig you can't afford rent for an apartment, how would you pay doctor bills if you are sick? Who would take care of you? Do you have health insurance? These are things anyone considering renting to you should ask you...if they are healthy and responsible. Be ready to answer these types of questions.
When you say you are "low maintenance" I didn't really understand what you meant. If I ever took in a boarder I would want them to be NO maintenance, as they would just be renting from me, I wouldn't be adopting them and catering to their needs at all, like another child. They would be expected to follow ALL rules, pay their rent on time, and other than that would not want anything from me. Of course I would treat them kindly and politely, but any kind of maintenance, even "low" maintenance people is not someone I would want to ever rent too.
Perhaps I misunderstood what you meant, maybe you are just looking for a new "family" to replace yor unhealthy one. If so, remember, that a business arrangement is not the best place to look for that, as in a landlord renting relationship. I have learned that friends are the family that you CHOOSE, and real friends like that take time to cultivate. You can't find them in a "looking to rent" add, even if they are in a program.
I am very glad you have a F2F meeting you attend and have even started others, sounds like you have a really good support system and some great networking opportunities to find something where you are at.
I hope you figure something out that fulfills your needs and makes you happy, and you don't have to move back in with a family you feel is dysfunctional. MP
Whoa, lots of questions here... first off, half of your entry can be negated because I am not in school. I graduated (see above). Therefore, "dorms" are out. I have money saved up, so if I didn't find a job right away (which I would eventually, because I have a strong work ethic) I would have savings to fall back on.
Healthy people may not take a stranger in their home, but a person who's involved in a 12-step community understands the importance of tradition 12: Service Work. I know it quite well, like the back of my hand because I have done it and take great pride in it. I find it extremely rewarding, and I would take in a 12-Step member any day given the circumstances.
I am "low maintenance" versus high maintenance. Some people are high maintenance meaning they require and demand a lot; moreover, they may have a lot of stuff. I do not have a lot of stuff, as I am a minimalist, and I do not require a lot in that I will draw from my 12-Step community and other resources, therapy, support groups, classes, etc.
Perhaps I am looking for family, and yes, a "healthy" one... hence the repetition of that concept ;) But I have chosen "12-Step" community because we share similar values and a desire to live a healthy life and recovery from the effects of an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional home.
I do have a really good support system here where I am living now; however, that will soon be changing unless my higher power can do some magic. I am going to try really hard to find a roommate here, or moreover, to post this ad around town and find someone to stay with for $150.00 where the trade-off is service work and a good working relationship (if desired). I just need a hand, and I figure 12-Step is the first place to start. As I said, I know that I personally would be more than happy to help out a brother or sister in need.
If I do not find financial support here then I will be either moving back home to my dysfunctional family/upbringing, or I will be moving to another dysfunctional home with my former partner (now my current roommate). Either way, I lose. The only way to make this happen is for a miracle to occur and my higher power to make this current situation work out. At this point, I surrender my will/need to control the outcome.
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"Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication" -Gail Devers.
(((((Not2bforgot10))))) - I'm new here at MIP, and have a not too healthy home currently. ODAT, working on my piece of that pie.
I am not too certain how large your area is, but another thought/suggestion for exploring is CraigsList. In my area/market, I see ads seeking room-mates (rooms available) as well as the reverse - persons seeking living places.
I just wanted to throw that out there for you. I wish you well on your search and journey. My first thought was --- oh to be young again with tons of choices!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Yeah, I have (and am currently) exploring Craiglist and it turns out everyone who has a room as a room share wants around $500.00. I am looking at $150.00 at this point; $200.00 absolute max.
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"Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication" -Gail Devers.
Thanks 4 the welcome! I am close to the KC area CL. My son was exploring CL to see if he could find something 'creative' and we actually saw a few, a while back, that were free or less than $200.
Both had a specific need - i.e. one had a small child and they needed daycare assistance 2 evenings per week (job had varied or swing shift).
The other (going from memory) needed assistance with the home, the outdoor work, etc. --- the person was recovering from a stroke and limited with what they were able to do.
Of course, the 'want' or 'need' of the home to be program focused might present a challenge for you - but if you truly are open on locations, I'd write up what you put here and post away on the CL ads. Nothing to loose, but a bit of time.
I wish you well in your search. I'm certain you will find what you need!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
See, I would not be opposed to something like that. At this point, I just feel... ungrounded? family-less? This (Burlington, VT) has been my community for a while... my first home away from home... 3 years... my first healthy, sane, environment. I am very sad about leaving it... and I am afraid of what lies ahead.
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"Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication" -Gail Devers.
I have an off suggestion... since we are all family, check with your local AA Intergroup Office and see if someone might have some suggestions for you there. Or if there's a local Alano club, that might be a source of assistance, too.
