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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Same O obstacle
Post Info TOPIC: Same O obstacle
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
Date:
Same O obstacle
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cryCannot sleep. Touch deprivation. It is so hard to live with. I talk and talk to hp to no avail for years. Miss a man in my life so much.

Am much better about the grieving my family etc. Am ok most the time with this aloness.

My heart hurts, can tell I am aging. You know how people don't live as long if hey do not have a mate? I know why.

Even when my husband was quiet, I loved it he was here. I loved it when he was outside building something and I was inside cooking or whatever. Really liked being married. Was alone 18 years before we married. Lots out of choice to raise my kids and I worked full time and went back to college.

Here I am again alone. I did that harmony thing just to see what it was like. I was not matchable. sigh. lol

see I am an enigma. unique, weird.

Always, always had boyfriends. Then as an adult most has been alone. What is wrong with me????

Saw a guy when I was at Walmart. He looked at me and I him. I wanted to say something. But kept going. I guess he could have said something to me though. I really need a man to come to me. Just the way I am. My AH wooed me for a year plus.

I don't know what anyone can say. You know I have a life, am busy.

Hoping letting it out will help. I know it is the same o thing with me.

There is a reason HP is not answering this one. Just cannot figure out what it is.

someone send me some zzzzzz tea please. debilyn

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Jozie


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1558
Date:
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((((((((((((((((((((((((Debilyn))))))))))))))))))))

Much Love & ZZZZZZZZZZ Tea I Hope coming your way...

I Can't say as I know the lonelness you are having, but I do know that when the time is right it will happen... I know at times I question fate... I have figured out tho that it isn't really me but HP leading the way to/thru this life...

Deb... you being as Busy as you are, I"m sure its tough, BUT... You are a Beautiful Person, when a Kind heart, and Loving Soul... Could be HP doesn't want you to settle for less, maybe Mr. Right just hasn't found ya yet, who knows... But Don't give up on you...

You have lightened the load of many here with your Kindness, humor & Love, So when you feeling lonely and Sad, come on by for Some MIP ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) to Get ya by till you find your diamond in the ruff :o)

Take what you like and Leave the rest...

Love & Prayers My Friend pray.gif

Jozie



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Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
Date:
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Debilyn - ((((((hugs))))) to you!  My hope is that you did find some sleep and some peace last evening. 

Way, way long time ago, before this program and before my own recovery, I was married and divorced.  I remember the extreme loneliness I felt back then and it was very, very painful.  I beat myself up and used substances to numb my pain.

Not long after that, I found the program.  I remember a huge *sigh* of sorrow and pain when they said I can't have any relationship(s) for a year.  I truly did not think that would be possible.

For me, only when I let go completely of that perceived need did I attract others - and, not all were in need as I'd attracted before.  Of course, as life works, I may or may not have picked the right one....time will tell how that works for me.

I agree that perhaps the right one has not yet been revealed.  You are doing so much for me and others with your sharing.  Thank you for that!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
kitty


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2098
Date:
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Ok, this may sound crazy but this is what I did when I was alone and didnt want to be.  First off, I was realizing that all the fear I was under in my life, was my doing.  So I thought, if I can feel worse just by my thoughts, why not empower myself with them.  I wanted to be in a loving relationship - healthy one with a non-A.  So instead of being miserable and focusing on what I did not have in my life - I decided to pretend that I did have the man of my dreams and the relationship that I truly wanted.  So that I could feel, happy and satisfied, instead of miserable and looking.

I wanted to allow myself the freedom of acting as if, I already had what I wanted, so I could happily go on and feel contended.  The truth is, I met my bf just a few months after that and we have been in a commited relationship for 2.5 yrs now.

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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
search41


Veteran Member

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Posts: 87
Date:
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Deb!  how long have you been back online?  My gosh, you sound so much like me!  I could've written much of that post!  I hate being alone too!  I've been alone now since we separated in June of 08, and at 49 yrs old, my whole adult life a huge part of my identity has been being a wife, and I hate NOT being a wife.  Sometimes I would rather he come stumbling drunk through the door than be alone, although my head tells me I would never settle for that again....my heart argues with me! 

I'm not going to go into a long "catch up" post here, but I still have the same email address, if you still have it.  Please write me!  I'm not sure I still have your addy, but I'll check, now that I know you're back online again!!!

Love you tons, and we need to catch up!  Exchange phone numbers?  So much to talk about!

Lori  (search41)


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