The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am tryng to change my attitude from "its not fair", "poor me" to accepting what is my lot today. I know it is far far better than it was 3 years ago.
My reflex thoughts are always its not fair and poor me so I have to take it second by second and I am finding it very hard going.
No wonder I have struggled in life with these automatic thoughts pervading my every moment. No wonder I am at home with an active alcoholic who thinks the same way. No wonder I envy those with a positive attitude and think they have more than me.
Sounds like you have put some thought into this and are putting some good work in. It's often hard to change out way of thinking and doing things when we have done it for so long. It seems like that is just who we are when in reality we aren't we are just stuck in "bad" thinking modes. So it is up to us to police ourselves and make the changes necessary. Otherwise, if we don't change something then it never changes. Good thought for the day, thank you.
(((((Maresie)))) Sounds to me like you are working a great program and in touch with WHY you feel the way you do which is awareness and the first step to making a change.
Sometimes it's easy for me to play the victem role....I'm a single mom to a soon to be teenager:), with a disabled elderly mother I care for and I have many health issues going on right now which I haven't even found the strength to talk about the most recent ones. There are days I don't want to get up and days I think "poor me", I'm young, I take care of myself better than ever, I should be able to have some me time, etc.
You're having a "gray day" and the gray days, where we get stuck in stinking thinking scare us all. Just do it a minute at a time, and hour at a time and everytime one of those "gray" thoughts sneak in-you refocus to where you are, what is in front of you, call your sponsor if you have one, come here and post, and it will get easier. I have those automatic thoughts/obsessions of mine too, and somedays are just harder than others for me, some days I do great.
love and peace,
shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
You're in the right place for lots of support for what you find necessary to do. Letting go of old unworkable, invaluable attitudes in exchange for new more real perceptions is key. In support....(((((hugs)))))
The 3rd A "Action" The action that I found that worked for me was the 7th Step Humbly Ask HP to remove the self pity.
When I felt the negative feelings I would pray the Serenity Prayer. It worked.
Maresie I too had these automatic thoughts and what helped me was to think of them as my "ANTS"- Automatic Negative Thoughts . I would feel the urge to go to the ANT and just say a slogan or serenity prayer instead. It worked but it took time and practice.
I think I was enjoying these defects that is why some of them took longer to go then others.
I agree with tlcate, happiness is a choice. It works the same way we have learned to change our reactions. I recently heard something that made much sense to me when it comes to our feelings, our attitudes, our reactions...and how to know which way to steer those feelings.
Our spirit resides within. Our brain is considered a different and seperate entity.. When the brain and the spirit are not connected, the spirit lets us know by the way we feel. Be it by anger, feeling less then, hurt, or hurting others etc. The person speaking said the feeling of discontent can be used as a indicator and navigator that works every time.
My take from it was that we aren't expected to *zap* and change things over night, but by feeling the disconnect of (insert any negative feeling), we can navigate toward a better feeling until we get to where we want to be..It's certainly easy to recognize.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
