Step Two Help - Restoring myself to sanity - Al-Anon Family Group

jasobel · Veteran Member

Step Two Help - Restoring myself to sanity

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Jasobel, One of the first things I share from my experience during high stress is eat only healthy things, drink good water, get plenty of sleep even if you need to nap. If someone else can help with your dear friend, that would be great.

Me and about 5 others took shifts with our dear sweet friend who died from AIDS. The other gals forgot to bring even a sweater as they ran to help him.

It is ez to forget ourselves when others around us have serious issues. Maybe if you remind you that we are no good to others if we don't take care of and love us first.

You are wonderful to be there for your friend. Really precious.

Even if you can sit by your friend in a recliner and take a nap. That is ok!

Is it your ex having a rampage, is it HIS problem? I learned to decide what I was willing to get into and what I was not. Made a decision and stuck to it. Not allowing any argument Just repeating my decision.

I used to make myself sick taking care of my dieing friends and family. Thank goodness I learned early to make sure I was ok.

You will do well. Just how you are. So glad you came here for support.

It is all temporary, the things that go on in our world. I also decided what I chose to get into and what I did not. Maybe it is my age. I just will not stay where I don't want to be.

hugs hon, please give your friend a secret hug and kiss for me and tell her there are others out there that care that do not even know her.

debilyn

Oh I have to share this. When my dear Mother was living with cancer, all my pet pig/animal loving friends sent her cards. Meant so much to her. Then came a picture from a newspaper. A gal who did pot bellied pig shows in Florida had her pig, Hoover honk a horn for Lynne Wilson in Oregon who was living with breast cancer. (o: All the positive energy and prayers make it so much easier. AND angels like you!

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

HI Jaz , well for years I heard about a God box for our families , u put them in the box and know that God will take care of them ,that worked for awhile , then I read an article in one of our forums that showed a hand turning the God box upside down and all these people falling out . i read the article and she said she reasized that her loved ones had thier own HP and he would take of them , so she dumped them out of her God box and climbed in herself and closed the lid . That appealed to me cause it was like an old friend had always tried to tell me , that my higher power had enough to do just taking care of me . hmmm.
I am the only one in the God box to this day and so far were doing pretty good . I say out loud every day Good morning God what are WE doing today , it just reminds me that I am no longer running my life , that I am not alone .
Letting go and letting God means just that . I was also told that there is a God and its not YOU . imagine that ??
Living in step three is more than giving it lip service , God is a part of everything or nothing . u choose Louise

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Jas...What simply worked for me was getting down on my knees completely out of
steam and asking, "Please help me".   That's it. It worked I stopped screwing around
with other peoples lives and put my own out on my work bench. That was the one that
needed fixing.   I don't HAVE TO do the dance, play the part, play the game, make a
response, defend anything, have the solution, create another's happiness, I can be
still and at peace and let my HP (God as I understand God) do with it what my HP
wants to.   I'm done!! That is the first step for me and the second and the third.
summed up as "Trust God"... The next 8 steps is about "Cleaning my own house or
side of the street" and then after I've learned how to do that and practice it on a daily
basis I have the final step...just one only; number 12, that I can choose when I can.
"Help Others".

Sanity...A continuous and orderly process of thought.   Never experience that until
I got into Al-Anon...never did it either.

(((((hugs))))) smile

RunnerChick · Senior Member

I heard in a meeting last week, one Alanon member say that her prayer to her HP is simple - "Please, please change me."
She said she didn't need to get specific about the various ways in wish she WISHED to be changed, but that she implored him to change HER in whatever way, because HER way of "doing life" was not working for her anymore.

We are undoubtedly our hardest critic. I can honestly say that the HARDEST part of my journey continues to be self acceptance and self compassion.
My therapist had me do a "self-pity" log.
I wrote down everytime I felt self pity and what was behind it.
When I read it aloud in our session I was dumbfounded.
I was swimming in this self pity and it was also in total extremes - black and white. I was beating myself up for things I didn't know and was never taught AND I was beating myself up for being broken and hurt in ways that were natural to me, given my own issues and childhood problems.
Today I am working on SEEING MY PROBLEMS/FEELINGS/NEGATIVE REACTIONS and not judging them. Accepting them and asking my HP to help me change.

Carol_Lynn · Veteran Member

As alanons many of us are very good at focusing only on others.

Being brought up in an a household, I learned to survive by pleasing and pacifying others.

I never counted and when I did, they called me selfish and bad.

I am learning to put me first.

It's so hard.

I have to put myself on that prayer list, too.

Carol

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.