The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Lately I haven't been getting out much. I go to the market in the village on Saturdays to buy food for the week and that's about it. We live on a beautiful piece of property on the lake and it's very tranquil here. Plus I just haven't felt like seeing people. All of my friends here in Guate are also T's friends. I feel like I have nothing to say to them right now. ¨Hi, what's new pineapple?¨ ¨Oh, not much. We had problems with our pump but it's fixed now, T is drunk most of the time, and I spend a lot of time at the al anon website.¨ Not the kind of conversation I want to have. I figure this is only temporary. Eventually I'll want to be sociable again. But for now I don't have the energy to deal with other people.
YIKES! Pineapple I understand completely. I am a very, very social being, so when I go into myself, everyone knows what's happening, and they rally around to pick me up out of the doldrums.
You'll come back. Just take it easy and let friends and family, including everyone here at MIP, be there for you.
Best wishes,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Pineapple, this is like looking in the mirror and yet it happened to me for years and years and I became quite a recluse.
The same old thing:
"Hi Suz, what you been up to, haven't seen your H lately?"
" The H is away again and I now have three jobs trying to get a little money for food as he does not give us any. Staying alive and feeding the children is as much as I can do on a daily basis."
Gosh, what an existence THAT was...unfortunately people did not even ask the questions, they knew what my H was like and stayed away and I became work and family orientated and once at home I had no contact, not even from my family - that is except my children -???
It took years to develop a social contact once more, but during my isolation I did find myself getting to know more about me, nature, the world at large and my children...just found it hard to be with other people.
Take care dear, don't make the mistake I made and make it too hard to socially integrate after a period of isolation. Just make sure you let that isolation WORK for YOU, and enjoy the peace and tranquility and joy of your lovely surroundings.
lots of love Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Find some hobbies pinapple quick , join some clubs this disease thrives in isolation ,dont' let it drag u down any more . As for your friends , when they ask what he is doing simply say I don't know , you will ahve to ask him . YOur property sounds wonderful and serene enjoy but get out of the house , get your life back and don't take on the shame of this disease , its not yours to carry .
I almost always feel that way pineapple--and i go back and forth and back and forth about it. I've never been a very social person, I was a shy kid and definitely living with the disease of alcoholism has shut me up even more.
I don't really know how to talk to people either. When people ask me how I am I literaly go insaine because i HATE that question.It makes me so uncomfortable.
I've been going through some serious isolation this past year too, and i believe that phase is almost over. I want to be out and social to enjoy life, to enjoy people to enjoy where I am. I can't force it. I keep trying but by the end of day i feel worse than i did before.
Good news is that feelings are just that, feelings, they come and go. One day im sure you will feel social, but just not today. I'm asking myself if I am feeling it today, and I just don't know. Do whatever what makes you feel comfortable today :)
Be gentle with yourself. Keep the positive aproach you have shown with the program. You will find your way and the balance you need...... in your time. Until then....... do what you think is best for you.......... If you don't feel like being sociabe, you can always hangout with HP. He's good company and easy to talk to.
I relate a lot Pineapple! Growing up with an A father, and most recently having an ex A bf, I have found it easier to isolate. Since coming to Alanon online and face to face for the past year I have been able to learn how to be around people more etc. I force myself to call people and accept invitations. Whenever I do that I always am so grateful I did and have a lot of fun. I need all the light hearted fun I can get. I am still friends with the exabf and it can be very draining. I love him a lot but don't trust him, worry a lot about him etc. At least I am building a life for myself with the help of Alanon.
Thanks everyone for the support. I DO have hobbies - reading, gardening, birdwatching, photography. All of which I can do right here at home. I'm not completely isolated. I take an hour long walk with my dog every day. I see the local Guatemalans tending their fields and we always exchange hellos. Yesterday I talked with some tourists on the beach. And yes Charlie, I'm sociable in this place with all of you. I didn't mean to imply that I'm unhappy, only that this seems to be a phase I'm going through. Right now I prefer my own company along with that of mother nature and HP to that of other people. I'm almost positive that will change in time but it's what I need and want right now.
