The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Few of us intentionally refused to see the reality of our lives or the circumstances in which we find ourselves.But the truth is that most of us have indeed done so. In alanon we eventually come to see the many ways we had unknowingly blocked out a whole segments of our past and present. We recognize situations in which we had unconsciously convinced ourselves that what we saw happening simply wasnt so. At the same time, we understand that we were doing the best we could at the time, trying to survive, to adapt to the ways our lives were affected by alcoholism before we found the help of alanon.
With the help and support of our program and our fellowship, we come to see how much energy was previously spent on escaping, ignoring, fleeing, and denying. We recognize that, today, our energy can be put to more constructive use in healing ourselves and our relationships.
How many times have we covered up for the A? How many times did we think this was only a one time binge,,but yet it happened over and over again, thinking this would be the last? Or we rationalized the why's and what's? Or even we recognized the drinking problem but said it didnt affect us? How many times did we put the blame on others because of a loved ones drinking,,or blamed ourselves? And sadly some of us live in a fantasy world that we will have the white picket fence, house,,2 children and live happily ever after etc...so that we wouldnt have to think of our pain.
I have personally did all of the above,,and had to wake up and realize, that I personally created my own misery in alot of ways, by not facing the reality of the situation. I had to admit that my life behind closed doors was not what I portrayed it to be, and that YES I had been severely affect by a loved ones alcoholism, and became very "ill" in the process. Alanon has made me see my life more realistically, and with the help of others and this program , I can now face my demons and reality and strive for a better life not only for myself , but for those around me, and try to find joy, laughter,serenity, peace one day at a time!
Very well said indeed. It is so great to know that the people here understand how we feel and where we have come from. Without the steps, I would be stuck back in the past with all the negative thoughts like you described. I try to look back on the positive things now knowing that all has been forgiven and put behind us. The things my mind blocked out during my daughters usage do still come back to me. Thank God I have this chatsite to process them so I can put them behind me too. The steps and traditions have helped me to live a healthier happier life than I have not lived for most of my life. They have also helped me to appreciate the things from the past and the present in a new light. I am so glad you are in alanon too and that we can share and relate to each other. Hope to see you soon in the room. cdb :)
