The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
am worried....spoke to AH earlier this evening (which is now yesterday!) and he was bubbling with enthusiasm! He was so excited that he had done three days straight without a drink or a smoke of the green stuff. He had decided that he wants to make a list of things that need doing around his home (i have moved out for now but we are talking) and is going to tackle as much as he can manage on a daily basis. He wants to get a bit fitter and has got his weights and dumbells out ready to use. He is going to get a haircut, try and lose some weight, get a bit fitter, get the doctor to sign him fit for work and start job hunting. He is also going to ask the doctor to refer him for councelling for his jealousy, insecurity, and depression problems. This is one heck of a turn around in two weeks!!!!! If its for real, all well and good. If its playing to what i need then i fear he is doing it all for the wrong reasons and he will crash and burn taking us right back to the beginning. i have every confidence in him that he can beat this as (compared to some ) he is not too far down the road! He says he stopped drinking and smoking just to prove to himself that he can. i hope, for his sake, thats the truth of the matter. i am remaining upbeat and detatched infront of him but.....reservations! is that just me needing to see him reform before i can trust him again? i dont want him to get well for me....i want him to do it for himself.
Hi Lucy , he is now in what I lovingly call Stark Raving Sober stage hehe , living with out alcohol is a big deal , he dosent know how to do it , keeping busy is certainly part of it . by staying busy he dosent have time to think about drinking so stay out of his road and let go , he's gotta do this his way . Hard work never really hurt anyone that I know of , so offer to buy the paint hehe . And dont worry about trusting him learn to trust yourself , trust what u see and trust what u feel . He is going to be a alittle nuts for awhile , changing his plans every 5 min , trying new things to occupy his time thats ok its what hes gotta do . You don't mention meetings AA , encourage him to get support you cannot take on the job of keeping him sober it just wont work , perhaps if u start your own program in Al-Anon he may follow . good luck enjoy
Stay with the board and the meetings Lucy...and let him do his own show. Besides what Abbyal mentioned there is also a recovery idea of the "Pink Cloud". For me listening that he is doing it to prove to himself that he can means that he is not doing it because he has accepted and learned both consciously and subconsiously that he will never ever want to take another drink or toke. HP knows how to take all attempts and help to work them into long term sobriety and that takes a willful and honest response by the alcoholic.
Stay in your own recovery attempt and practice. ((((hugs))))
I don't know if your husband is attending AA, but the big book addresses what may happen when an alcoholic is newly sober. I think it's in the chapter "To Wives." You may find reading this chapter helpful.
I agree with the other posters to focus on your own recovery and let him do his own show, as Jerry put it. You can't control the outcome of your husband's sobriety, but you can certainly control your own recovery whether he stays sober or doesn't.
