The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
am pleased to report that AH hasnt had a drink for 3 days - a decision he took all by himself! He text me last night to see if i would watch a film with him - which i did. And it was great! We huddled infront of the TV just like in the days when we first met, missed most of the film because of his constant chatting, and laughed like we hadn't laughed in months. I am so proud of him and told him so. He totally gets that it is early days and huge changes are about to happen. He totally gets that i cannot go back to him unless i am sure that the changes he is making are permanent. He totally gets that he has a wife who adores him and appologised over, over, over, and over again for everything he has put me through, particularly taking my love for granted. Our talks have been honest, open, sometimes painful but are steadily and surely starting to make an impression on the difficulties we are facing. We have uncovered many underlying issues that have been glossed over to keep the peace. These are now being addressed, discussed and resolved. There is a long way to go still but every day i am more and more confident that we can beat this awful disease with love, understanding, compassion and respect. Happy days!
well Lucy I am glad he has decided to give sobritey a try , please if your not already find Al-Anon meetings for yourself , drinking or not your going to need support from people who have been where your at . Keep your expectaions low enjoy the moment but remember this is a disease and it is alot more powerful than the two of you . I can relate to the talks your enjoying so much we talked more in 5 months than we had in ten yrs ,bt in our case 9 months later * he had no help from AA at the time did it on his own white knuckled it every day * finally the disease took over again and he left our home to drink , he stayed drunk for 6 months and finally quit for the last time to date . This is cunning baffling and powerful disease and it lays in wait for a week m oment to raise its ugly head . I had been in our program for 3 yrs by this time and had learned to make myself happy regardless of what he is doing , I had to learn to stay out of his way in sobriety this was his trip not mine . Sobriety is not the answer to all of lifes problems but it helps . Enjoy but please remember to take care of your needs , his HP will take him where he needs to go . Stay strong and look after you . You cannot keep him sober anymore than u were responsible for his drinking this is his problem , support him and his efforts but leave it with him .
I am happy for you both, and those are great thoughts from Abbyal as well. Please get to meetings and take care of you. You journey and your AH's journey isnot nearing its end.. It is just beginning. Sobriety is really hard. Get lots of support from you program and you can be happy no matter what he does. You are in the rosey period. Enjoy it, but prepare yourself for the next hard thing, whatever that turns out to be. I am not saying wait for the other shoe to drop, just that change is very hard and the road will have really rough spots, so stay strong.
Take care of you.
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Hi My partner got sober last may. He had a slip in november when his nephew died and went straight back to AA. I too want promises that these changes our permanent but the sickness does not go just because they stop drinking. My relationship i better today. He is in AA and trying so hard. But after the slip I am staying in reality, he can not promise he will never drink again only that he wont drink today. when his nephew died he arranged the hole funeral he took care of the whole family. Then bang this disease struck because he thought he had cracked it, he thought he was better. I have learnt its for life. I am not going to worry about the future as long as he is in AA and trying. I have been reading living with sobriety this is helping and explains the changes we may experience. I am so happy for you and dont want to burst your bubble sobriety is amiracle I just hand it all over to HP. I have slips and learn from these but choose to stay on this journey my a has had a slip but is still heading in the right direction.
