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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> New to al-anon - books?
Post Info TOPIC: New to al-anon - books?
balst19


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Hello, I am new to al-anon.  I have a wonderful husband who grew up in an alcoholic family.  We recently had our first child which has made our relationship with his family more complicated.  My MIL is very volatile and we are constantly walking on egg shells around her.  While she is the hardest to deal with, there is no denying that my FIL and SIL's also have drinking problems and rely on their daily drinks.  Growing up in that type of environment has lead my husband to accept it a "normal" and I have a much harder time coping with dynamics of his family.  My husband I have begun to see a therapist to help us better deal with the hurt and guilt that his family lays on us.  She has suggested that we look into al-anon, but our local chapter only meets once a week at a time that does not work well for us.  While looking around further on the internet, I was happy to come across this site.  I was wondering if anyone could recommend some reading for someone in my situation.  I see there are several books out there and do not know where to begin.  Thank you!

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Melissa21


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Welcome balst19, glad you are here!

You are right there are tons of great alanon books out there! I think for starting out How Alanon Works For Friends and Family is great. It has all the alanon basics.

Also there are quite a few daily readers. Hope For Today is my favorite. It's for ACOA (adult children of alcoholics). One day at a time and Courage to Change are pretty popular daily readers as well.

I order my books from amazon.com and if you just type in alanon books you will get a huge list and can also read the comments posted by others who have read the books. There are also many books for those who grew up in an alcoholic household as a child Just search ACOA.

There are alanon meetings online you could attend if you can not work your schedule around the face to face ones. Just scroll up in the yellow box and it's alanon meeting room. When there isn't a meeting we have open chat and there are many great people in there!!

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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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HI Balst and Welcome

Melissa has given you some great information.   Alanon also has some information and literature on line. 

World Service Organization is the Service Arm of Alanon Family Groups  They have a Web Site with some great literature  One is theAlanon  Steps , Another on the al anon tool os Detachment and the other is the BOOKLET"JUST FOR TODAY" my favorite the web address is

http://www.qis.net/~alanon/literature/justfortoday.php

Good Luck and please keep coming back



-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 14th of January 2010 10:46:58 AM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
canadianguy


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome, and glad you found us.... Another great book is entitled:  "Getting Them Sober", volume one, written by Toby Rice Drews.... That book will explain, in very practical terms, some of what the A is going through, and how we can best deal with that, and ourselves....  It is an awesome book...

Take care
Tom

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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
maresie


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You don't say what your family background is.  I know personally I was drawn to people with dysfunctional backgrounds because my background was very very similar.  I'm not sure I ever felt my parents behavior or my siblings was "normal".  I was in denial of it certainly but I never ever described them as normal.

I'm so glad you have a good therapist who can refer you to other resources.  Al anon has many many tools that can help you deal with your inlaws.  There are so many issues when someone starts addressing this stuff.  Personally I think its best to go slow, get resources rather than try to cram every thing in at once.

I'm glad your family is taking so many steps to take care of your child.  That means you are breaking the cycle and creating a new world.

 

Maresie.

 

 



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maresie
balst19


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Thank you all for you book suggestions. I am going to log on to Amazon and buy some books today.

Maresie - To your point, my own upbringing was also dysfunctional, but not due to alcoholism. I think one of the reasons that I ended up with my husband was because we shared the common bond of a painful childhood. My parents divorced about 3 years ago and that really allowed me to speak with them about my childhood and gain closure. My relationship with them now is completely different then when they were married. Because of my upbringing, I promised myself that I would protect my children from the things that I was exposed to as a child. That makes it particularly difficult to deal with him being brought into the center of all of the drama that my MIL creates.

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wp


~*Service Worker*~

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A few of my favorites: One Day at a Time
Courage to Change
Paths to Recovery


wp

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pineapple


~*Service Worker*~

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You mention that you can't get to the one meeting a week in your area. I'd like to recommend the online meetings here, held twice a day. I attend as many as possible and find them very helpful and a real comfort-. Keep coming back!

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