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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> So here I am again...long time I know, the weeks seem to have gone by so quickly and yet it only seems like yesterday...
Post Info TOPIC: So here I am again...long time I know, the weeks seem to have gone by so quickly and yet it only seems like yesterday...
Suzannah


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So here I am again...long time I know, the weeks seem to have gone by so quickly and yet it only seems like yesterday...
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Hello dear friends and family,

I cannot believe that I have not been with you for so many weeks, yes even months, and yet when I opened up my account this morning I had a reply from Loupy sent in SEPTEMBER and a message from Jerry F which he sent to me in early DECEMBER.

Please forgive me and take this as my sincere apology for my absence.

My surgery was on 7 October and I cannot believe how well it all went.  Just three or four weeks after that I was down in the south of England with my daughter as she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy (he is my fifth grandbaby! Eeeekkkkkk!!!!) and is absolutely adorable.

The going was tough as I was extremely tired and I still wonder how I managed to do so much so soon after my surgery but I did.  However, it was not an easy time and I found myself having to work my programme hard in order to not let the same ol' same ol' happen.

And, Jerry I DID IT...I set my boundary and I walked away...without fear, without bitterness, without resentment but with my integrity in tact and my head held high and having laid out my conditions for visiting in the future.  Firmly, kindly, but resolutely.

At first I was determined NOT to go and spend Christmas with either my son or my daughter as I had had enough of their 'put-downs', their control, their bullying, their inconsiderate abuse and misuse of me...and even though I was NOT looking forward to spending year 6 alone at Christmas I reconciled myself to the situation as it stood.

And then a MIRACLE happened and, though I cannot now recount how, I DID GO and spend Christmas at my son's place visiting and staying over at my daughters and continuing to visit her and the children whilst my son and his family went away the day after boxing day to return after the new year celebrations leaving ME to flat sit, dog and cat sit and fend for myself and being even more alone there than I would have been had I stayed here at home!  And yet here I am at peace.

The MIRACLE continued as my daughter and the middle child together with new baby filled the days as I went back and forth and spent some quality time with my daughter, my grand-daughter and my new grandson.  And although it was hard at times I have to say it was a wonderfully healing time with some very precious moments as my daughter showed caring,appreciation and even a little tenderness towards me; asking me to come and stay New Year's Eve to see the NY in with her and the family...and so that I could bond with my grandbaby.  She even paid for a taxi at 2am for me to get back to my son's flat to look after the animals!  And arranged for a taxi to collect me in the morning so that I could have NY day dinner with her instead of being on my own!

She thanked me for helping, for cooking, for staying up in the early hours and pacing the floor and singing the baby to sleep and changing nappies and bringing her drinks and comforts whilst the baby was not well and she too.

She asked me to come back down soon and my grand-daughter asked me to go out for dinner with her so that we could have some quality time.  Her mum had bought her a dinner for two - her and her boyfriend - but my grand-daughter said she wanted to go out with me instead.

So, because of the unexpectedness of the occasion, I had not clothes to change into, my daughter loaned me some of her clothes, my grand-daughter found some clothes that fitted me out of her elder sisters wardrobe too, whilst they both did my hair and my make up.  Then, adorned by my grand-daughters silver bangles and carrying my daughters little silver purse off we went to a rather delightful place for dinner.  (My grand-daughter described me much to my amusement as being 'hot' - and said no wonder the waiter was chatting me up!!! - really?)

I had to pinch myself...I thought I was dreaming?  But no folks, I was not, I have the photographs to prove it.

Due to the awful weather I then found myself snowed in and unable to leave the south coast for several days and therefore spending more time than I had expected to with the family.

This time it was my son who was rather unpleasant, and yet I found myself walking through this trial upset but NOT destroyed.  He has a lot to contend with and although I was disappointed and somewhat surprised by his attack, I feel I have survived it well and with little or no lasting injuries.

So, folks, here I am to tell you that...although I feel Christmas was not all that good - and I might have been better to stay put at home, I feel there has been some surprising turn of events that have been both inspiring and draining in turn and they have left me with little  time or the energy to call into my MIP family recently, I have continued to keep you in my thoughts and prayers whilst I have continued to work my programme and practice that wonderful SERENITY PRAYER.

I came home relieved to be home, but not devastated.  I found myself pondering and going over certain events with a wry smile...the name calling was water off a duck's back...no no no...I am NOT a drama-queen,  no no no...I am NOT an weak, weepy, whipping boy,  no no no...I am NOT a walk-over...I am ME, kind, patient, worth caring about and wonderfully talented not an old, passed-her-sell-by-date-ol'-biddy  AND NO-ONE, YES I SAID NO-ONE IS GOING TO TREAT ME LIKE THAT.

It has been a real eye-opener to realise that my son really does not know me...whilst my daughter and grand-daughter are making an effort to get to know me at long last.  How awesome is that?

This has been a truly miraculous lap in my journey to holistic healing, however slow my progress has been I have progressed and know that I am STILL progressing and I like it very much.

So dear family,

MAY I TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WISH YOU ALL A WONDERFUL AND HEALTH RESTORING YEAR AHEAD...THOUGH YOU MAY FACE TRIALS AND TRIBULATION MAY YOU COME THROUGH KNOWING THAT YOU TOO ARE WORTH IT.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, even if I am a little late in getting this message to you all it is sent with love from my heart to each of you.

God Bless,

Suzannah
heart.gif

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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.

Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Debilyn


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RE: So here I am again...long time I know, the weeks seem to have gone by so quickly and yet it only seems like yesterda
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Was so happy to see your name on here!

Great to see ya back with a great update.
So does this mean your pain is better???

hugs hon, debilyn

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Jerry F


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Aloha Suzannah.  Had turned you over to HP and what a great job HP has done!!  Always
does.  and looky this "And yet here I am at peace"   That's the
consequence of a proper turn over...you arrived at peace just like I did under very similar conditions.  YAY!!

Glad to have you back at the MIP board - home. (((hugs))) smile

Have no idea why my font and color won't go back to
default and then...it's not anything at all to worry about
huh?

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Karilynn


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((((Suzannah))),

What a lovely way to start the morning.  You did great! w00t.gif Congrats on the new grandbaby. aww Glad you're surgery went well and you're up and about.  Continue to take good care of yourself.  You deserve it.  Much love and blessings to you and your family.  HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty smile

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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Christy


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Suz,

It's wonderful to hear from you again!!  Even more wonderful to know how well you are doing biggrin.

Keep in touch, you have much to offer in sharing your recovery with others.

Christy

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
RLC


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(((Suz)))

So nice to have the "Lady' from across the "Big Pond" back on board. I have missed you and all of your ES&H.

HUGS,
New Granny !!

RLC

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david62


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Yay!!!

Great to hear from you my friend!  You sound marvelous and so glad the surgery went well!!

Keep coming back!!!

David smile


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Laughter is the Beginning of Healing
maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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I am so glad things are going better for you.  I am proud of you for setting those boundaries and sticking to it.  One reason I have bad Christmases is my perfectionism.  I am holding out for the perfect time.  I made the best of a bad situation this year. For me now that is good enough rather than a disappointment.

Maresie.

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maresie
blender_girl


Senior Member

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Posts: 495
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Welcome back, ((Suzannah))!

So nice to see you posting again. I always get a lot out of your ESH.

love in recovery,

bg

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> So here I am again...long time I know, the weeks seem to have gone by so quickly and yet it only seems like yesterday...