In the middle - Al-Anon Family Group

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

In the middle

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I can sure relate. big time. My A was a remodel contractor. I had NO idea he was drinking yet. He was messing up his jobs! He was an excellent builder before the brain surgery and relapse.

I also relate to the pump thing. Mine froze, I got them unfroze, then had to wait a bit for the pressure tank to thaw. My stupid tenant came over and "tried" to fix it while I was gone. He did not have permission. He busted the plumbing and burned out my pump.

AND HE WAS NOT DRUNK. haha

Anyway my son had to redo the whole thing and pay for it until I could pay him back. two weeks it took.

Anyway my ex A....I agree the Seren. prayer is perfect. His behavior is no reflection on you. I do relate the fallout affecting you guys though. This is where after time, I learned to do everything myself. I know it is not easy,especially with kiddo's.

But I tell ya after being widowed for 18 years I learned to do about everything.I could have done the pump. However am not young anymore and it would hurt....

You are in a hard place hon, no doubt.

I am not agreeable with the choice thing as far them using. If they could choose they could quit. Myself I cannot imagine seeing my wife and kids with no water, and choosing to use. no way.

People drive drunk and kill babies and drive drunk again. I do not believe it is a choice. As you said he is humiliated. That is the disease!

Have you ever been horribly, I mean horribly thirsty? There is no way I would not drink. no way. They are craving CRAVING it.

Anyway I probably am no help. Just know I do relate, and you are doing the best you can.

Remember the worse he feels, the further down he goes, we can pray he gets miserable enough to let go and ask for help.

love,debilyn

ps glad you got your water on, isn't living in the country great? Hey always keep gallon jugs of water for winter. I have them everywhere. You can flush with them, in case you don't know!

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

When M comes to talk to u tomorrow , u tell him to take it up with hubby ,this is not your problem . stay out of it . and walk away . Its not up to you to apologize for your husbands behavior , and remember you didn't cause this , you cannot control it and u can't cure it . leave the problem with hubby where it belongs .

-- Edited by abbyal on Thursday 14th of January 2010 02:33:29 AM

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks for the ESH debilyn & ticate. abbyal, I was thinking a lot last night and came to the same decision. I imagine M wants to talk to me because he knows I will be sober. But it's not my job to take this on, he can talk to T if he has more to say about it. And the good news is I can take a shower today! Yaaaayyyy!

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

(((pineapple)))

Your post and the responses to your post remind me again how important MIP has become in my life and lives of others. Reguardless of our problems or concerns we know we are never alone. How important it is to know that anyone anywhere in the world can get ES&H from MIP members with years of experience. Members who are willing to freely give back what the program has given them over the years.----------And if I think about it -------the only word that comes to mind ------------ "Priceless".

Keep working your program, and most important, keep "Taking Care of Yourself First" just as you did yesterday. I works if you work it.

HUGS,
RLC

DreamsOver · Senior Member

I have been in the middle for many years now and it does wear on you.

My situation is reverse from yours my son is the addict and my husband is a no nonsense, can't bend, my way or the highway person. I have just about killed myself trying to keep the peace, but I don't try that hard any longer (I won't say I have quit all together, but I don't feel the need to get between them like I used too.)

I believe I just gave out, they will out last you, my husband and son have come to blows, a terrible fight broke out between them and I tried with all my strength to get between them and break it up, but I couldn't, they didn't speak to each other for two years after that.

I love my husband, I love my son, they both have been right and wrong, but I don't try to judge that anymore or convince them one way or another. I want to respect my husband because he works hard to provide for us, he has always tried to supply us with what we need, my son does not try nor does he understand the cost of things today and how hard his father has had to work.

I love my son, he is not thinking straight, he has a terrible disease that has taken him down, there are times I can say no, and there are times I can't. I would like more understanding from my husband went the call is hard to make. I would like more understanding from my son about the position his has put me in when he disrespects his father. I don't get it from either.

We all should have the wisdom of Solomon.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.