It's broken I'm broken - Al-Anon Family Group

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

It's broken I'm broken

RunnerChick · Senior Member

You're not alone.
I wish I had more inspiration to relay but for the moment but, I know that the disease sticks with us, regardless of whether the A is in our life or not.

I am trying to allow myself to just feel the feelings as they come and not judge them. Thanks for sharing here :)

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh Deb.....heres a ((((((hug)))))) and a good word for you.....SCUNNERED.....make sure you roll the r when you say it. Its our Scottish version for pd off, and it can roll of the tongue with a fair old force behind it!!........... I am SCUNNERED!!

Im not making light of how you feel..... just want to try and give you a smile. Im sorry you are in pain.

Its always the little things that tip us over the edge isnt it......Ive done that superglue thing to the mouth.....ouch.

What stands out in your post to me is this....Took his name off my mail box.I mean his last name. taking my first husbands name back

Now this to me is no small thing and Im sure its taken a lot for you to work towards this. Take it easy on yourself, you know what you need to do......

Have a good weekend, let your daughter spoil you. Tomorrows another day...............

Ness xx

Jozie · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((((((((DEB))))))))))))

Much Hugs & Love Coming your way... i so Feel your pain ;) I too have battle Migrains this week and no that even the littlest thing that goes wrong when I have one can throw me over the edge, and well you have had your Share for sure... I have to constantly remind myself "This Too Shall Pass"...

So hear ya on the "Comfort Chocolates"... This too is one of my Addictions.... I have BANNED it from the house since Jan 1st...lol... Which has only made the desire for it that much more... But I know that I need to focus on Me & My Health that I have allowed to Go WAY the Wrong Direction these last couple months... But yes... Love Them... Like loosing an old friend :(

My Husband, No's Very Quickly how to push my buttons and aggravate till no end, I was having a Day Not Long ago, as you mentioned above, many things tumbling all at once, and I was on the verg of insanity... And my Husband knowing I needed to snap out of it... Started SINGING TO ME... the Country Song... "Sounds Like LIFE To Me" LOL... Well If I didn't love him I would have most likely Knocked him out.... But once I started to remember the song... I realized he was right... Sh@t happens, and I must move on... Al-anon & HP has been a blessing to me on those kind of days because I always find tools to bring it back around...

I'm with Ness... Enjoy your time with your Daughter, have the best time you can, and I will keep you in my prayers that the migrains release you enough to enjoy every minute of it...

Love & Prayers Friend ;o)

Jozie

blender_girl · Senior Member

(((debilyn)))

When it rains, it pours, seems like. I'll have to say that I find myself giggling just reading your post - not AT you, my dear, but with the exasperated humor I see in it.

You've got a great program that is sooo apparent and I freely admit to leaning on it when I feel my own program slipping away.

Having jeans that are too big is a great problem to have, IMHO - you could always pull an Ellie Mae and get a piece of rope to use as a belt, I suppose!

Glad you came here and vented, sorry stuff seems to be going kaput all at once, but it will pass.

Have a great time with your daughter and take care of YOU!

love in recovery,

bg

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

Sometimes it's all so discouraging, isn't it? I am reminded of the Buddhist saying about achieving enlightenment -- how changing your insides doesn't mean that the world outside changes -- "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water."

But sometimes you just have to put down the axe and the bucket and take care of yourself for a bit.

MaryPoppins · Veteran Member

When I feel like that, like everything is going wrong and my life stinks, I found it is best to keep my nose to the grindstone and to just keep working on what is wrong. Keeping busy is a surpisingly good remedy for a lot of thing in life.

Why dont you start with getting your sewing machine working so you can fix your pants? Cleaning and oiling your sewing machine is really easy. A sewing machine is like any machine, it needs regular maintenance and cleaning.

I used to work in a sewing store teaching classes and part of my job was to keep the students sewing machine in good repair so they could keep taking classes. I did research and became very good at it, there has not been a sewing machine I was not able to get running smoothly.

All you need is some cheap household stuff like toothpicks, Qtips, a cheap clean toothbrush, and some pipe cleaners. Also, get some good sewing machine oil.

Get out your sewing machine manual to see what parts to clean and how, and how to oil it when you are done. If you can't find your manual, look online. If you can't find it online, then go to the library for a BASIC sewing machine care manual, they have a bunch of them. Most sewing machines are pretty basic and pretty similar, I have owned many brands and they all cleaned the same.

Get busy with this task, get it working, get your pants fixed, and you will feel a sense of accomplishment. You can also use your sewing machine to make some cute clothes for Sprout, that would make a lovely gift and keep you busy with positive things.

I hope you feel better soon!

Lots of Love,
MP

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

oh you all helped me so much!
Oh I love humor. I used to say I could kill my husband for dieing and leaving me here alone..

The pain last night was blinding. ick

Yea things are how ya look at them.

Thank you Maryp. I did get the oil. I have all the stuff. I stupidly had it stored in the barn....

I will do what you said and work on it. I will just wear a denim skirt instead of jeans Saturday. (o: No big deal. Of couse my good coat has MUD on it. lol whats new eh?

Pain is gone, I feel lighter. Just woozy from the med. Oh I am on my 3 months of $1300 a month house payment, that is what drives me crazy when things break.

Then the obama loan thing hits and my payment is suppose to go way down. ONe day at a time. I live on $1889 a month so you can see how my dollar numbers are a thread.

(o:

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I hate depression. There is no rhyme or reason for me. Just a chemical thing. Makes everything so much worse.

It is not something I can just snap out of. But I can say, now today, I don't hate my life. crazy. Is that what crazy is? hmmm Nothing has changed. well I am not in that horrible nauseating pain.

I was a happy kid. Was so even until my first husband was killed. That incident cracked me. Only way I know how to put it. Ever since then, every other loss to death has cracked me further. Sometimes I feel almost ok and some happy too. The losses have been too great.

Hp is so important to me. Nothing can take that away, and believe me it has been tried."Wanna piece of candy pretty girl?"

Al Anon has given me so many tools. Most of all people who are willing to share their ESH, and people who grab me and shake me and tell me like it is.

Runnerchicks situation is bringing so many things back to me. Been so long ago. Everything is temporary.

I think I will go hug my Tavish Basset.....(o:

nmike · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((debilyn))))))

Keep turning it around and look for possible solutions in another way. Friends clothes, thrift store, church basement? Natural meds? I really like your step taking the name off the mail box. I am working toward small steps of separation. Don't give up!

In support,
Nancy

-- Edited by nmike on Friday 8th of January 2010 11:14:45 PM

blender_girl · Senior Member

(((((((((((((((((((((debilyn))))))))))))))))))))))))

love you love you love you

bg

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.