The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I posted last week as a newbie.. I`am disabled and unable to attend outside meetings but have made it here to one or two. I have my grandaughter here quite a bit to babysit. Her mother was a drug addict but I believe now is drinking. She hurt her little girl last week while they were away on vacation and and made the child believe that she didnt mean to do it.. It started with my gd hitting her mothers backside and her mother over reacting. Last night, same thing, she hit her back and asked her to read her mother hit her leg hard with a book and she has a bruise. I`am in tears. My daughter abuses me verbally and emotionally and I spoke about that last week. My grandaughter keeps thinking its her fault and also saying, mama said she was sorry. I know all the signs of abuse I had it myself when I was a kid. I know I have to contact ss but I dont think they are going to do a darn thing. The child told her counselor last week about the insident when she was away and the couselor told , "your not suppose to hit your mother". I believe she is telling the story as she did something wrong. Help I, don`t know how to procede with this... I`am soo desperately sad for this little girl I want nothing more than to help her. I know any wrong move and her mother may pull her out of my life and then she will have lost the only stable person she has ever known....
Do you have a counselor for yourself? It might help to find a reliable one who seems like a good fit -- if money is a concern, there are often counselors who do sliding-scale fees. I'm thinking a counselor, especially one with a degree in Social Work, might know her way around the child-protection system, know what kind of reporting will get attention and what won't, and know what kind of options there are. She might also be a good sounding board for you, because this is definitely stressful. You need to take care of yourself (and I hope you can also get to some meetings), but also you need to be able to find some local guidance in navigating the system to get as much help and support for your granddaughter as you can.
Also remember that the more recovery and serenity you get, the more you can be there for your granddaughter. Even if her mom never gets help, the presence of a reliable, healthy adult in her life can be a lifeline to your granddaughter. So be sure to keep concentrating on your own recovery. You're doing it for her as well as for you.
Hugs to you, and I hope you can find a local counselor or advisor soon.
