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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Loss
Post Info TOPIC: Loss
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
Date:
Loss
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It's like it has been drummed into me that everything goes away. The only constant is HP.

Does a person have to lose so much to realize what really matters? And by then, isn't it too late?

Even was blessed with another lady who had a pet pig too. She became my adoptive mom and her husband my dad. She died.  Now I still have Dad. He is a real dad to me in every way. I am so blessed with him.

It is hard for me to talk about him or think about him as I know he will get taken away. He almost did this time last year.

We have met once but we are on the phone lots. I am a daughter to him, checking on him and sending him caramels and slippers.

When he goes, I will not get that close to anyone again.

No I am not depressed. just looking at some things.

Just spent an hour putting cocoa butter on my ancient pot bellied pig. Was thinking hey I want a body massage like this! lol then thought,"what do you want to do?" I realized I don't have any hopes or dreams anymore. I mean I cannot think of anything I want to do.Did about all I ever wanted to.

Have my country home, had or have every animal I ever wanted, well except a cow, so I guess that is alright.  (o: Had my boy and girl. A family who loved me.

skiied, rafted, swam, hiked, camped, painted, sewed, made jewelry, good cook, worked with kids, was loved by some very cool men, had many great girl friends. Have seen so many neat things.

Is it my age that I don't have anything to hope for? I mean at this time on earth? I am doing my best to be a good witness as far as my beliefs. Living what I believe.

Not sure if I want to put this on the board now.

The A days are over for me.Finally. It is like my life opened to a blue sky and fresh air. endless possibilities but I don't know what they are?

Ok does anyone "get" something from this mishmash  of me?

thank you!  (o:  debilynhmm



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Mattie


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3613
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I know that feeling of thinking, "Am I on the down slope now?"

I think part of it is just being tired and needing some time just to hunker down and be sleepy and have life be easy for a while.

My dad died when my mother was 62.   She had had a full life.  She kept on working, retired, pottered around.  Then all of a sudden in her 70s she got a second wind.  She got a great boyfriend, went traveling all over, and published two novels.  So you never know.  I think the thing is that if you're content, that's what matters; and if you're not content, there's always the possibility of changing things. 

I'm still working on the contentment part.  It sounds as if you have a lot of that in place already.

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Ness


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 619
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Hi Deb

I think the turn into a new year has us all reflecting......not just about our As but about life in general, all its loves and losses....... and thats ok, because thats just the way life is.

Something unexpected the Alanon programme has given me, its taught me to stop, be still and feel the moment.  Sometimes it has brought up a lot of stuff that I cry over, which is ok,  I then try to counterbalance with every little thing I am so grateful for.

I had my gorgeous little granddaughter and her Mum with us over the holidays. I lost my Mum when I was 10, she never got the joy of watching her grandchildren, nor did my Dad. As I watched this little one (almost 3) absorb all the magic of Christmas I had an overwhelming moment of grief about the ones missing in her life (including my Ason, who is in the grip of his disease), and I was so glad that I fought all last year for my recovery which has enabled me to appreciate every little moment, something I had all but given up on this time last year.

Embrace it all Deb, its what makes us who we are.....stronger and, I hope, wiser. I dont know whats round the corner for me, but I know I will keep up my programme and coming here to read your posts, you are part of my recovery so keep coming back honey.

Heres a little bit of beauty, peace and serenity I found on my walk yesterday it was as if the world had stilled...... MAGIC!! Think Ill take up photography, theres a lot of beauty to capture out there, I may be rubbish at it but Ill enjoy it!!

Love and ((((((((big hugs)))))))

Ness x



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Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

Wow you both brought tears to me! good ones! (o:

__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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